10.1 The Day to Ponder about the Future~
It felt like such a long time had passed.
I wanted to visit the city immediately, but my status wasnāt so low as to allow me that much freedom. Even more so if it was incognito.
In the end, I could only visit two weeks from whence I wrote to Anne Marie.
My first impression of the city was of how lively it was.
Children running around; the echoes of peddlers doing their business here and thereā¦
Many kinds of expressions could be seen; joyful ones, cheerful ones, and of course, tired ones.
But everyone was striving their best in life.
āBy the way, is it true? Are you in love with the Queen?ā
In the crowded market, I was asked by Spica, who was walking next to me.
āThatāsā¦ā
Once upon a time, that was certainly the truth.
However, a vicious side turned out to hide behind her brilliant visage.
āWhaaat? What are you talking about, āMariaās true sideā? āShe isnāt whom you expect her to beā? Then WHO is she?! ā¦let me guessāā
āWell, how to say thisā¦āā
āāman, is that it!? Someone has casted a spell and whom we thought was Maria the entire time turns out to be her cat in disguise?!ā
Thus, I was laughed at.
āPfft. You really donāt understand anything~ā
āI know nothing about love.ā
āThatās not what Iām talking about. Do you even know the real Queen?ā
āCertainly, the last time I and Maria had a talkāā¦ā
āOh my, what are you going to do now? You aināt gonna let that one confrontation you had with her define her whole self, are you? My, not only do you know nothing, you also reflect on nothing!ā
Again, she laughed.
āI am a witch. I am also older than you. But if I told you what kind of witch I am, would it ring true? Iām not shy to admit that Iām a complex and also an extremely attractive individualābut, things like good or evil vary between perspectives. Hence, to me, itās hilarious how you let a single action define somebody.ā
Maria had certainly said something familiar to me.
About how narrow-minded I was.
Research required many perspectives and different approaches. I knew that already.
But I never thought of applying those same principles to people.
Maria, the impression of her I currently had in mind wasnāt whom she actually was.
I wonder what kind of person she really is.
In truth, I probably understood less about everyone than what I deluded myself to believe.
That noble lady who tried to curry my favor and receive a present from me,
That noble lady whom had been desperate to invite me to an event,
At that time, I was probably projecting my own prejudices onto them.
I guess, I truly only though about myself the entire time.
Finally, the most important of allā
āAnne Marie.
What do I know about her? What do I understand about her?
Whom was I kidding?
I didnāt even try to understand her.
I know nothingāI donāt know anythingā
This was the first time I had ever felt this confused.
Nevertheless, the profound lack of understanding I was currently experiencing wouldnāt stop me.
I wouldnāt stop thinking, I would find the answer.
As Maria had pointed out, I loved myself the most.
Even when I felt inferior to my brother, I still believed my intelligence was beyond compare.
People were saying none could be a researcher as bright as meāhence, I believed that was my sole purpose; the only way for me to contribute to my brother.
What Maria had purposefully made me experience left a scar. And that was exactly what I had done to Anne Marieā
āonly worse.
āonly more cruel.
I treated her like lab rat. Like the whole thing was an experiment.
I still didnāt know what I wanted to be, or what I wanted to changeā
ābut I was definitely ashamed of myself.
I thought of how unforgiveable Maria was, to make me experience such pain.
In truth, I made someone else suffer an even greater deal of pain.
āAs long as Iām contributing to my brother.ā
āAs long as my desire for knowledge is fulfilled.ā
Yet, the Knight Captain had also told me, I saved the lives of many knights.
Those words had brought me salvation and joy.
Those same words brought me an even greater sense of fulfillment than any successful experiment I ever had.
I disliked others.
To be more precise, until now, I hated people because I thought they were only after my knowledge.
But, if it was true that there were many sides to people that I wasnāt aware ofā
āwould it be possible for me to like them?
āSpica, you are amazing.ā
āHoho~ why, thatās only natural! Who do you think I am?ā Spica smacked at her own chest proudly.
She was a witch. She was different from humans, but her knowledge about them was more than their own.
āAw, if only you were like this from the beginning, none of this wouldāve happened!ā
āā¦You are really blatant, arenāt you?ā
āWell, after all, such thing is also ludicrous. Some people refuse to believe they arenāt what theyāve seen or experienced. Absolutely nothing canāt be solved by a good, proper talk. Even so, some people just love to avert their eyes from things they donāt want to see, or from that which inconveniences them.ā
In the end, some only succeed in creating a scenario where they were the victims.
Actually owning to your mistakes and accepting your shortcomings is not only painful, but also difficult to do.
Results also couldnāt be felt immediately.
In the end, they never changed.
āMost of the changes are only temporary. Ultimately, they reverted back to whom they originally were. Long ago, witches who got terribly fed up choose to end those unchanging scums. But not my generation!āwe are but observers, most of the time weāll snort at the result and say, āSee!? Told yaā itāll end up this way!ā and thatās it~! Harmless, isnāt it~? And also do nothing, aah~ Iām pretty useless, arenāt I?ā
āThatās not true.ā
āEh?ā
āI was able to reach a solution because you pointed out my former mistakes. It was all thanks to you.ā
Spica looked incredibly stunned for a moment, but the next, she broke in laughter.
āMaria hates you. I hate you, tooābut not as much as her!ā
āReally?ā
āMhm. Listen to me, now. Listen well, causeā Iāll only say this once; treat my advice seriously and youāll be able to change.ā
Saying that, Spica smiled the kindest smile I had ever seen from her.
***T/N: Part of me just want to bonk him in the head with the nearest blunt object while screaming to his ears “YOU ONLY REALIZE THIS NOW?!”…
Ahhh I love this story so much, but itās becoming difficult to read. I know this is 3 or 4 years old at this point, but the constant shit talking Gilbert receives in the authorās notes and comments even when he acknowledges he fucked up just digs a massive hole in my chest. I know you didnāt really intend for it, and Iām being unreasonable to complain about it, but itās just comforting to imagine that someone can legit become a better human, and these constant reaffirmations that Gilbert will always be scum just hurt to see. Sorry again for ranting, just wanted to get this off my chest
What was the advice? Huhuhu
Probably for gilbert to finally realize his stature as someone who should be leading his people rather than cooping up in his room doing freak research all day
you want him to coup?
sole reason he is able to be researcher and end up getting engagement because stupid king.
???
The people of his territory lol…
Thank you for the chapter~
Sigh… how old is his guy? Why has no one… no nevermind. sigh
many thanks