210: Mount Usanyi
A stepladder had been placed in the corner of Rintaro’s room for about a week. It was not for changing light bulbs, nor was it for climbing on and playing.
「Mayuzumi? Is Mayuzumi not here?」
Climbing up on a stepladder and noiselessly removing the ceiling cover, Rintaro peeked inside. In the darkness illuminated by a flashlight, he found a sleeping bag, a small refrigerator, and, before he knew it, a large number of comic books piled up.
「Mayuzumi’s thing…… it’s starting to look more and more like a home……」
There was no one in Rintaro’s attic which is also Kirika’s private room.
「Aniki, Kirika isn’t home, ssuyo.」
「Well, I guess that can’t be helped. Then, I guess I’ll just go up there. After all, this is within the airspace of my room.」
Of course, Rintaro knew that Kirika was not there. It was Rintaro himself who asked her to run an errand.
「Ei.」
Rintaro threw the Monthly Pig Bastard he had received from Bancholf into Kirika’s room. It couldn’t really be called a strategy, but this way Colonel Usanyi-chan would not whip Bancholf or Rintaro.
Even if it was found, Kirika wouldn’t try and turn Rintaro in. At most she’d make him “owe” her and use him.
「Thank you oraui, Death Green-san.」
「That’s fine. You should do it in moderation too.」
「Uooon! I’ll follow you for the rest of my life, orauii!」
Bancholf, shedding manly tears, kept his head bowed until he left the room.
Even so, he is heinous legion’s zako fighter’s full-fledged leader. If a collar is put on him like this, he won’t be as careless as he was the last time.
As Rintaro was thinking such calculating thoughts, Samecchi looked at him with an unusual sparkle in her eyes.
「Aniki is so cool, ssu! That was really aniki-ish, ssuyo.」
「Oi oi, Am I not always acting aniki-ish?」
「Aniki is always aniki, ssuyo! But now “Noble Enforcement (こーきしゅくせー(高貴粛正 maybe?))” can rest easy, ssune!」
「That’s true. At the very least I’m not one to disturb public morals. I am really too pure and righteous to be a good example for mysterious being. It’s to the extend that I should be whipped.」
Being complimented by Samecchi put Rintaro in a good mood, so he grabbed both of Samecchi’s hands again and danced around.
「Alright, I’ll make curry for dinner tonight. I can’t teach you everything right away, but you can watch and learn.」
「Yaay, ssu! Samecchi wants the one with shrimp, ssu!」
After getting carried away, Rintaro tossed Samecchi onto the soft bed. Samecchi laughed out loud and bounced around on the bed like a trampoline.
「Ahahahaha!」
「Kyakya!」
「Well then, aniki will go get a bunch of shrimp from the kitchen, so you’d better stay quietly.」
「Understood, ssu!」
Rintaro gave a thumbs-up, and Samecchi gave a thumbs-up as well.
A few minutes after Rintaro left the room.
Once again, the door to the room was violently knocked on.
「Death Green-saaan! Please have mercy, uiiii!」
「Have mercy, kind sir, ui! Please, I implore you—hide my poor child, ui!」
「Sshianunnrurussaonou!!」
「Yes yes, ssu. Please wait a bit, ssuyo.」
When Samecchi opened the door, dozens of zako fighters rushed in, each one eager to get in. They all had pale faces, like peasants asking to make a direct appeal to the feudal lord.
Perhaps because they had heard the story from Bancholf, all of them were carrying large bags on their chests. Some of them were carrying so much baggage that it looked as if they were planning to run away in the middle of the night.
「Wh- Wh- Wh- What should we do, ui? I didn’t expect that only Samecchi-san is here, ui……」
「As expected, we’ll just have to be obedient and let Colonel Usanyi-chan slap us, ui…」
「That’s also… Ah no. This time it’s bad, ui! With the way Colonel Usanyi-chan lost her temper, it won’t end with just an apology!」
The zako fighters, each voicing their concerns, had completely become refugees. In front of them, their little savior stood with her hands on her hips and her chest puffed out.
「Fufufu, ssu…… The story has been heard, ssu.」
「Oh, Samecchi-san! In that case, could it be, ui!」
「Samecchi has a plan. leave everything to Samecchi, the number two in the heinous legion, who is looking after the house while aniki is away.」
「「「「「Long live Samecchi-san! Number 2, Hurray!」」」」」
………………
…………
……
Two shadows were walking down the long corridor of the Ark Dominion residential area.
One of them was a man with a strangely evil look in his eyes, carrying a bag full of shrimp in his hand; the evil mysterious being Death Green, also known as Kuriyama Rintaro. The other was a girl with an eyepatch and bunny ears in military uniform; the demon of discipline, the kick rabbit mysterious being Colonel Usanyi-chan.
「Seriously, every single one of them. They have no awareness that a carelessness in their behavior could threaten the survival of the organization. Don’t you think so, Major Death Green?」
「Y-yes. That’s absolutely true.」
Rintaro happened to run into Colonel Usanyi-chan in the kitchen.
It seems that the mysterious beings had been sneaking alcohol out of the kitchen every night, and she had come to check the account. By the way, since the fraud was discovered on the spot, the mysterious being in charge of the kitchen was boiled in a cauldron right in front of Rintaro.
Even Rintaro, who had taken it lightly until he actually saw it, was left completely scared.
She was so aggressive it was hard to believe she’d been holed up in her room and agonizing for a week. Even the sound of her footsteps walking down the hallway seemed to carry a hint of anger.
「But Colonel Usanyi-chan, as expected, aren’t you going bit too far…」
「What a naive thing to say. I must finish cleaning up the Ark Dominion no matter what before Lord Bearion returns from his patrol of the local branches. That is the duty of the one left in charge.」
That’s right, that is the biggest problem. Bearion she should be questioning is currently inspecting the Beast Corps branches scattered throughout Northern Kanto.
Following Nyanzo’s group’s mistake, he has been away for the past week to regain control of the legion. It seemed that it would be three days before Bearion, the only one who could hold the reins of Colonel Usanyi-chan, returns.
This meant that they would have to endure this storm for at least three more days. Colonel Usanyi-chan was probably planning to turn Ark Dominion into a sterile room before Bearion returned, so that she could question him about the photo.
「Next up is the quarters for the Strange Insect Army and the Heinous Legion. It would be great if you could be present.」
「Ah, Aah, of course. Please be gentle.」
「It all depends on how their everyday mindset.」
Although it was a coincidence, Rintaro and Colonel Usanyi-chan took each other on a tour of the barracks. At first glance, it may seem like he was helping to enforce discipline, but this was the conclusion reached by Rintaro’s evil mind.
Considering the unlikely event that they discovered something that would anger Colonel Usanyi-chan, he decided it would be safer for them to work together so they could be protected at any time. Even Rintaro did not want to see his subordinates boiled in a cauldron for no reason.
Surprisingly, however, not a single adult magazine was found in the rooms of the zako fighters belonging to the heinous legion.
That’s right, nothing was found.
「I’m sorry. I had no idea that the leadership of the heinous legion was so delicate and thorough. I think I may have to reassess my opinion of you.」
「No, no, of course. My guys are really reliable, hahaha… hahaha…」
However, in Rintaro’s tainted brain, a warning light that read “I have a bad feeling” was lit up for some reason. Could those zako fighters, who were so true to their instincts, really have such iron-clad self-control?
But thinking about Colonel Usanyi-chan’s current state, it would be best if she found nothing. Incidentally, all that was discovered in the Strange Insect Army’s barracks was a large number of insect atlases.
Colonel Usanyi-chan’s excitement seems to have calmed down considerably after the censorship results were so clean and honest.
「While we’re at it, let me check your room as well just to be sure. You are someone who imposes such strict abstinence on your subordinates. I’m sure there are no questionable books there.」
「Isn’t that obvious. I have Samecchi in my room.」
「Fuh, you’re right. Sorry. I was being a bit oversensitive.」
「Well yeah! Kirika might have a few, but, you know!」
It seems that Rintaro receiving Bancholf’s “Monthly Pig Bastard” was not in vain. If she had regained her composure to this extent, there is no way she would get so enraged over a single issue of “Monthly Pig Bastard.”
This is especially true since it has been disguised to look like it belonged to Kirika.
Although he had a bad feeling, Rintaro stood in front of his room without letting any of his anxiety show on his face.
「Well, go ahead. But I don’t think you’ll find anything.」
「I wonder about that. What, you’re not the kind of man who would disappoint me. Well then, excuse me.」
When Rintaro and Colonel Usanyi-chan opened the door, what met their eyes was the usual room with Samecchi sitting on the bed.
「I’m back, Samecchi.」
「Wel- Welc- Welcome back, ssu, aniki.」
For some reason, Samecchi was holding her mouth and staring at the strangely curved ceiling.
Rintaro was drawn in and looked up, his eyes fell on the ceiling, which seemed to be bowed for some reason. The ceiling panels were oddly curved and were making a “mishiri mishiri” noise.
「Yes. It’s very well cleaned. But… what’s the matter, Major Death Green?」
The next moment, the ceiling, which had exceeded its load limit, collapsed with a crunching sound.
A flood of erotic books, erotic DVDs, erotic Blu-rays, and erotic pin-ups. Every imaginable skin color covered the feet of Rintaro and Colonel Usanyi-chan like an avalanche.
『Monthly Pig Bastard June Issue』
『Female Sergeant, Secret Personal Training』
『Carrot, stick, and honey』
『No abnormalities on the buttocks』
『Omandou』
Half-buried in the deluge of erotic content that was heavily biased across genres, Rintaro was at a loss for words, forgetting to even adjust his misaligned glasses.
「Thi- ThTh- This this this, this is……?」
「Aaah! The naughty goods that aniki was hiding are in big trouble!」
「Well, it’s true that I was the one who hid it, but this much…?」
Rintaro’s face, which was already pale, went beyond blue and turned purple.
The mountain of naughty things piled up in front of him collapsed with a clang, and a pair of bunny ears popped out from the top.
「Ma- Jor Death…… Green……」
A dark, deep voice, like boiling magma trembling underground, echoed quietly from Mount Ecchi.
All than could be seen was her bunny ears. he couldn’t imagine, and no, he didn’t want to imagine, what kind of expression “she” had at the bottom of Mount Ecchi right now.
But Rintaro knew two things.
Once a volcano erupts, there is no way for a small human being to resist it.
And the Usanyi volcano right in front of him was about to erupt violently.
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