209: Monthly Pig Bastard
Deep underground in a prime location in Shinagawa, there lies a dark abyss where evil spirits of rivers and mountains lurk. In the Ark Dominion underground secret base, there is a great hall known as the “Dark Cathedral.”
At the far end of that place, sitting on a magnificently appointed throne, is our Leader of the Ark Dominion, the Dark Old Man Dragius III.
He is the leader of the evil organization that controls the entire Kanto region, the King of Darkness who reigns at the top as the nation’s most wanted mysterious being. There is no one other than Dragius III who could be the leader of Ark Dominion, the most powerful mysterious being organization in Japan right now.
Such a dark king was now sitting upright on his throne.
「……Uuu. Even though I am the leader……」
「To think a man who is supposed to be the leader take hidden photo of a soldier? How deplorable!」
The one conducting the interrogation is a female mysterious being in military uniform with bunny ears and an eyepatch covering one eye. She is the number two in the Hundred Beasts Legion and the head of the Training Corps, entrusted with the discipline of the Ark Dominion by none other than Dragius III.
A few pictures were laid out between Colonel Usanyi-chan and Dragius.
The person in the picture is a beautiful girl with flowing silver hair, Mayuzumi Kirika, a member of the heinous legion. Kirika is undoubtedly the granddaughter of Old Man Dragius, but to avoid causing unnecessary conflict within the organization over the issue of succession, their relationship has been kept secret from all but a few of the executives.
To those who don’t know the circumstances, all that remained was the fact that an old man in his 60s is hiding a photo of a 17-year-old girl in his pocket. Even if it’s not Colonel Usanyi-chan, They’d have something to say about that.
Today, however, Colonel Usanyi-chan’s eyes were bloodshot beyond description.
「Th- Th- There is a deeper reason behind this. Kirika is an essential member of not only the heinous legion but also the Ark Dominion so…」
「I would like Commander Dragius, the leader, to show a remorseful attitude, rather than offering petty excuses.」
「……I- I am sorry.」
There was a difference in position between the leader and a mere army commander, but in Colonel Usanyi-chan’s eyes there was an intensity to them that seemed to say that the law knew no hierarchy. If the current Colonel Usanyi-chan, who does not tolerate even the smallest dust, were to be let loose, she would immediately have him be paraded through the city.
Colonel Usanyi-chan’s discipline offers no exception, even to the mysterious being leader who dwells in the Abyss. Naturally, she was chosen for her fortitude.
「If those in command do not take the initiative to discipline themselves, it will set a bad example for those under them. This will ultimately lead to a decline in morale throughout the army, and the ironclad unity will begin to fray.」
「Don’t be so upset, Usanyi. Give me a little more leeway and tolerance…」
「I would like to have the “Colonel” and “-chan” added!!!」
The whip in Colonel Usanyi-chan’s hand slapped the marble floor. Although Colonel Usanyi-chan had not lost her mind to the extent that she would suddenly and violently attack the leader, it was only a matter of time before the whip would find its way to his old body.
「Hiee! This is elder abuse!」
「This is also to make Ark Dominion a stronger organization. Before the heroes can take advantage of it, we will tighten things up once again. Therefore, I ask for your permission to act.」
「Un, permission granted! Permission granted!」
Thus, a storm of discipline raged in the depths of darkness.
………………
…………
……
Meanwhile, in a corner of the Ark Dominion residential area, Rintaro’s private room was filled with such tension that it was hard to even breathe.
「……………………」
「……………………」
「……Now!」
「Ssua!」
As the girl shouted, a round, moon-like chunk of dough shot up from the frying pan. The dough did a half rotation in the air, then returned to the frying pan, golden brown side up, still maintaining a perfect circle.
「Yay! Did it, ssu!」
「You did it, Samecchiiiiii!」
Rintaro stroked Samecchi’s head vigorously with both hands, then grabbed both of her arms and danced around in circles. They were so excited it was hard to believe flipping some pancakes was the cause.
「At this pace Samecchi will become more and more of a “bad girl”, ssu!」
「Samecchi sure is a bad girl, isn’t she! Washyashyashyashya!」
A week had passed since the previous incident. After her blunder, Samecchi was encouraged by Colonel Usanyi-chan to approach Rintaro.
Step by step, without haste, surely, to her own ability. She would like to increase what she can do, even if it is just one day at a time.
It was a determination to restore honor in its own way.
Rintaro himself is a man who, through his own efforts and not through talent, had achieved the first place in the Hero School and, by extension, the last place in the Victor Rangers. Therefore, in order to respond to Samecchi’s earnest attitude, Rintaro has been teaching her various things day after day in a hands-on manner.
「Samecchi will master curry next, ssu.」
「Oh, I can’t teach you that yet. I’ll tell you, I’m very picky about curry. Today I’ll teach you one more thing about table manners. With these pancakes!」
「Yaay, ssu! Itadakimasu, ssuu!」
Just as the two of them were having a great time as if they were real brother and sister, there was a loud bang-bang knock on the door.
「Death Green-san, it’s me, Oraui! The zako fighter Bancholf, Oraui! Please help, please, please uiiiii!!」
「What happened.」
Sensing that something unusual was going on, Rintaro adjusted the collar of his shirt as he opened the door. In the hallway, Bancholf was crouching with his head bowed, carefully holding a paper bag.
「Did your home get burnt or something？」
「Ah, Death Green-san… You’re the only one I can rely on now, oraui… Please help hide it, oraui…!」
Bancholf’s face was desperate. Realizing that this was not going to be a very calm conversation, Rintaro looked around the hallway, made sure there was no one there, and then tapped Bancholf on the shoulder.
「Death Green-san……！」
「It’s public place here, tell me more about it inside.」
Bancholf was looking around the room nervously. Rather than being on guard, it would be more accurate to say he was frightened of something.
Rintaro let out a sigh and looked at the paper bag that Bancholf was carrying so carefully.
「So, who do you want me to hide? Is it that?」
「……Yes. I’d like you to keep this for a little while, oraui.」
He accepted the paper bag that is offered to him with both hands as if it were something important. Judging from the feel and weight of the bag in his hands, it appears to be a book or something.
Rintaro silently took out the content from the paper bag.
It was a magazine.
『Monthly Pig Bastard June Issue』
～Before the summer arrives. A special feature on sunscreens that look great on your skin, recommended by 100 white pigs～
～Outdoor exposure even during the rainy season is the latest M-man style～
～The legs you want to be stepped by tonight, a thorough investigation of the queens of the five major cities! Kabukicho, Tobita Shinchi, Susukino, Nakasu, and Ogoto～
「………………」
Rintaro quickly put the magazine back in the paper bag so that Samecchi, who was engrossed in the pancakes, would not see it.
「Please take good care of my treasure, oraui.」
「I refuse!」
「Such a cruel thing, oraui! If it is found, I will be purged by Colonel Usanyi-chan, oraui!」
「Colonel Usanyi-chan?」
Hearing this name, Rintaro recalls the event of a week ago.
A single photograph in the hidden safe of the Hundred Beasts Legion.
The people in the picture were Bearion, Hundred Beasts General, and a beautiful woman he had never seen in Ark Dominion. And in their arms was a baby.
From the composition, there was no doubt that they are related to Bereion. It was also easy to see how close they are.
The problem is that it was Colonel Usanyi-chan who saw it.
She was so shocked that she temporarily fainted, and when she woke up, she left Rintaro’s room with unsteady steps, as if she was a ghost.
However, Rintaro could not afford to get involved in the private affairs of the Hundred Beast Legion, so he instructed Minato and Kirika to leave the matter alone for a while.
「Colonel Usanyi-chan’s censorship is more merciless than usual this time, oraui. The dormitory of the Hundred Beast Legion’s zako fighters is now a burnt wasteland, oraui.」
There had been a previous incident where Colonel Usanyi-chan had become angry as a result of some wild behavior.
It seems something has exploded inside her this time too. Colonel Usanyi-chan is certainly not the type to vent her frustrations by talking to someone about it.
The cause was undoubtedly that photograph. If that is the case, then Rintaro is partly to blame.
「Colonel Usanyi-chan is a relentless for those of us from the Teaching Corps, oraui. On that point, I thought that if it were found on General Death Green-san, she would be able to overlook it, oraui…」
「Did you bring it to me assuming that it would be found?」
「A colleague of mine who was assigned to the Hundred Beasts Legion was found hiding behind a bathroom vent and was crucified, oraui…」
It takes incredible determination to search that far. Just as Bancholf said, the intensity of this disciplinary crackdown seems to be on a whole different level.
At this point, it would seem like it would be quicker to just get rid of it, but judging from how worried Bancholf is, it must be something very important.
Rintaro is a man, and he understands. Bancholf had come to ask him for a favor, and if he turned him down, it might affect the morale of the legion.
Besides, it’s Colonel Usanyi-chan, if they dispose of it poorly, the owner will be tracked down and be hanged.
「Even if that’s the case……」
As Rintaro put his hand to his forehead and thought deeply, Samecchi, who had finished about half the pancake, peered into his face.
「Aniki isn’t eating the pancake, ssuka?」
「Huh? No, Samecchi can eat it all. Samecchi cooked it after all.」
「If Sametchi bakes the pancakes, it all belong to Samecchi, ssuka? Yay, ssu, Samecchi will bake pancakes every day from now on.」
At that moment, an epiphany struck Rintaro’s evil brain.
「……There is that method.」
「Death Green-san, have you come up with a brilliant idea, oraui?」
「I have another person living with me. I’ll just make it hers. Don’t worry, if it’s a girl’s, Colonel Usanyi-chan won’t get as mad.」
After saying that, Rintaro stared at the ceiling of the room with dull eyes.
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