“—ris… Iris!”

“…”

“Iris.”

“Eric?”

Eric’s concerned expression entered my vision along with the blinding sunlight.

“Why are you here, Eric?”

“Are you still half-asleep? This is my house!”

—Right.

I was staying at my aunt’s house because I had nowhere to go.

“Wake up. You still haven’t gotten changed?”

Yesterday, after being awarded by the king, I went to bed as I was and before I knew it, dozed off.

“Are you OK?”

“Why?”

“You seem… out of it.”

“…‘Will the war end after I claim hundreds of lives? Will I live to see tomorrow? How long do I have left to live?’ I spent my days pondering those questions.”

Even if the war was over, my hands were forever bloodied.

“Before I went to war, my mother tried to convince me otherwise. I wasn’t born to kill, she said. Back then, I thought I knew what I was getting myself into—but apparently, I didn’t.”

Even if the war was over, the past would remain forever unchanged. 

For the rest of my life, I’d have to bear the sins of killing others to see another day. 

The lives I had taken would never return.

“Sleep some more, then. I’m sure both your body and mind will benefit from plenty of rest.”

“Thank you, but I can’t afford to do that. From now on, I’ll be busy.”

As a matter of course, after being enlisted, I had lost contact with my territory.

“Since I’ve become a lord, I need to rebuild my territory as soon as possible.”

“It’ll take time. If anything, don’t do anything risky.”

Eric must be worried at my exerting myself, but right now, I’d rather be preoccupied with something than just rest. 

—that way, I wouldn’t have to face the painful reality.

“Thank you. As the head of your family, you must have a lot on your shoulders, Eric. Don’t worry about me, just focus on yourself.”

Eric’s father, and his older brother who should’ve succeeded the family, both perished in the war. At the time, Eric, adamant to get drafted, was stopped by his brother. To protect his family and his people, his brother went to the battlefield and never came back.

Not even his remains were returned—only his tag. On battlefields far from territories and royal capital, the corpses are burned on the spot, leaving only the tags to be given back to the bereaved family.

It can’t be helped.

“I’m going to conduct an inspection.”

“What about breakfast?”

“I don’t need it.”

“Last night, you also skipped dinner, didn’t you?”

…Come to think of it, I was so tired that I went straight to bed. I should be famished, but I wasn’t.

“I don’t feel hungry right now, so it’s fine. I’ll go scavenge for food later.”

“’Scavenge’, is that a word a noble lady should use?”

“You’re right. I have to be careful.”

I met many mercenaries on the battlefield, and nothing good would come out of speaking in a high-handed manner to them. Besides, your speaking style tends to change the longer you spend time with someone.

…How nostalgic.

I won’t see any of them ever again, will I?

I wonder how everyone is doing?

“Hey, will you be fine?”

“Don’t worry, it’s not like our territory is some kind of an uninhabited island, so as long as I look around, I’ll surely find something to eat.”

“That’s not what I mean—…”

“…?”

Eric hesitated, but eventually gave in.

“…I don’t really understand, but I’m heading out.”

“O-okay. Stay safe.”

◇◇◇

The church, which served as an emergency shelter, was safe. Nevertheless, due to the explosion, it was dingy and damaged in some places.

“Our top priority is the church’s renovation. It’ll serve as a temporary residence for the homeless.”

I wanted to save as much money as possible, so I just asked the men to do the heavy work.

When I turned to look at my surroundings, the sight of my people—thin and wrapped in bandages—greeted my eyes. They sat on the ground, their gazes full of madness.

“We also need a soup kitchen.”

Next, I inspected the fields.

“…This is no good.”

Most of the fields were barren. What little remained of our crops had either withered or been burnt to crisp.

“I’ll need to hurry.”

So that my people could survive on their own, I had to restore my territory as soon as possible.

—As expected, I’d be busy from now on.

---

***T/N: Our poor heroine is struggling to live on…

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