Translation You Must not Die

5: Retribution

“Lady Iris Lowenberg, during the war, you didn’t let your position as a woman keep you from contributing to this country. Your honorable deeds merit you the title of duchess.”

Without a place to return, or an energy to rebuild, I stayed at my aunt’s residence. One day, a messenger arrived from the royal palace. Concerned about my wellbeing, my aunt responded in my stead.

Once I was appropriately dressed, I went to the royal palace. Just like back then, the place was filled with people. There, I had an audience with the king and was commended for my exploits on the battlefield.

As I’d been on the battlefield for 6 years, I suppose his saying that might be natural.

I lowered my gaze onto the medal given by the king.

Is this my punishment for murder? I wish he’d just kill me.

Instead, why was I praised for killing others?

“I’m honored, Your Majesty. I’ll do my best so as to not bring shame to my new title.”

“I’ll grant your remuneration at a later time. Please use it to rebuild your territory.”

“Yes, thank you.”

We didn’t win the war—if anything, we nearly avoided defeat. Even so, since the results were deemed somewhat satisfactory, rewards were distributed to those who participated. Yes, even to those who hired mercenaries to battle in their stead. As for me, I believed those mercenaries should be compensated fairly.

Afterwards, I completed the procedure to receive the remuneration with the assistance of the prime minister. Then, I left the royal palace.

I looked at the amount I received.

Apparently, the people of Lowenberg and my family were worth this much.

…So, human life does have a price, after all.

“…‘Territorial reconstruction’?

Easy for you to say.

After that bombardment, the grasslands became charred fields. Not to mention, my people fled. It’d take time—possibly years—and money to restore it all.

“…Even though there’s nothing left.”

Still, as a lord, I had to prepare a place for my people to return. From the moment I was given the title of duchess, I had the obligation to make it happen.

…Once I fulfilled all my obligations, would I lose the right to my life?

How long do I have to continue taking responsibility?

◇◇◇

“—Murderer! Don’t you realize how many lives you’ve ruined!?”

A native woman once said that.

She was about to meet her end at the hands of an enemy soldier. However, before that could happen, I shot the soldier. When I tried to help her evacuate, she turned against me while holding the lifeless body of her child to herself.

To her, the soldiers of her own country and the soldiers of the enemy country were the same.

—Both played an equal part in ruining her life.

“Help me, I don’t want to die.”

A large man was crying and pleading for his life. I pressed the tip of my gun against his forehead and pulled the trigger. The spattering cerebral fluid, along with the stench of blood, were so disgusting that even if I were to regurgitate all the fluids from my body, my nausea wouldn’t have subsided.

However, unlike that day, my finger—which used to shiver so much—could now pull the trigger with ease.

—The longer I lived, the more my heart died.


***T/N: I really love the tone this story sets. And I can’t fault Iris for being snide at the royal family at all…

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