Chapter Thirty-Nine: The One who Believed Could Never Be Put on Hold

We return to Gil’s private room. I am enthusiastic enough to tell him how determined I was, but before we can take a breather, a knock comes on the door. Without waiting for a reply, His Highness the Second Prince lets himself in.

“I’ve come to visit y-you.”

“Joel… father told you to stay in your room, didn’t he?”

In contrast to Joel’s high spirits and happy smile, Gil’s irritation is visible in his narrowed eyes.

“Well, well, don’t so stiff. I am on first-name terms with Lina, but I realized I am the only one who hasn’t spent any time getting to know her. I was feeling a bit excluded, wouldn’t you agree?”

Joel walks with big confident steps towards me, but Gil steps in between us and stands in front of me.

“That’s… close enough.”

“Whoa! Are you jelly? Girls aren’t too keen on uptight guys, you know.”

Gil has to endure his swollen cheek being poked at by the mischievous Joel. Gil immediately brushes off Joel’s hand in an extremely annoyed fashion. Even though he was being treated as a pest, Joel’s smile does not whither in the slightest. I can glimpse a bit into their relationship as brothers. Gil never mentioned Joel, but it looks like they get along in their own way.

“C’mon, let me thank Lina a little. She is my personal savior! Thanks a million!”

Joel turns to face me and tells me that while grinning ear to ear. But I have no idea what he is thanking me for or how I am supposed to be anyone’s personal savior.

“You made it possible for me to get out of that blasted line of succession. You know, I have a wife living in town.”

Whaaat!? My eyes open wide at Joel’s unexpected revelation.

“And that’s why I always wanted to stop being in the line, give up any noble titles, and marry her properly. But I was never given permission. Not until one of us succeeded the throne and the next crown prince was appointed. That was the condition.”

I guess this is why Joel’s name was never brought when talking about the possible successors to the throne. So that’s the reason for that whole “we don’t talk about Joel” unspoken vibe.

“And it is all thanks to Lina that everyone finally had the guts to make a decision. I just had to come and express my sincere thanks to you, you know?”

Ah, so he can make this face, one that is full of genuine fulfillment and gentleness. His aura is also warm and feels good to look at. It’s an aura with a certain fatherly feeling not present in either Jerik’s or Gil’s.

“But are you really okay with all this? You know I can help you escape now while there’s still a chance.”

So asks me Joel once again emitting a faintly fatherly feeling of concern from his aura. But running away is not an option. Not to me, not anymore. I shake my head from side to side, but he prevents that with a gesture from his hand, indicating he isn’t done speaking.

“Honestly, even someone as carefree as me has to feel a bit terrible, Lina. Because I’m escaping this royal mess I was born and raised in and instead leaving you behind with all those responsibilities and burdens. As the cherry on top, you offered yourself as a human sacrifice to mom’s tutelage, didn’t you? Leaving aside your love for Gil, will you be able to carry that weight? Do you want to start with that kind of life?”

I feel he is genuinely worried about me, but also… he is testing me. Whether I can perform the duties, see things to completion, and not shirk from the weight of it all… Those worries are not just his but also my own. However.

“I-I have spent a lot of time thinking about it… People I have come to respect and care for a lot believe in me. So that makes me think I should believe in myself like they believe in me. If I say I can’t do it, that would mean I don’t trust these people after all, don’t you think?”

I know I am answering a question with a question, but this is as much as I can say right now.

“I know I don’t know a lot of things and that I am lacking in many skills. But I don’t want to be passive; I want to do my best. That’s how I want to be together with Gil. Does High Highness believe such a thing is beyond my reach? Is it so that any emotions I have or efforts I make will not be able to compensate for my lack of capacity?”

“Just Joel is fine… You found a real lady, Gil. If I had met Lina before my wife, I might have even developed a crush on her.”

Being allowed to be on first terms with him means my answer passed his test, right? Joel extends his hand, requesting mine, and I oblige, but the moment he grabs me, he pulls me towards him.

“Elder brother Joel!”

Gil can only yell as Joel plants a lightning-fast, sneaky kiss on my forehead.

Joel makes a weird face when he sees me trying to rub his kiss from my forehead. My sleeve serves as a high-speed washing cloth. I can feel he is just playing, but he really planted his lips fully on my skin.

Oh, huh? Please wait a bit. I’m having a deja-vu.

“Just get out of here already!”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, okay? Gil, aren’t you being awfully cute right now, huh? I’ve never seen you get jelly like this. Well, bye-bye, and see you, Lina!”

“Don’t come back!”

Joel sprints to the door, blown away by Gil’s thunderous reproach, still being his jolly self and waving. I think I almost heard cartoon sounds as he went out, but that must have been my imagination.

“H-he is quite a personnage…”

“I hate that about him… Lina, stop rubbing your forehead with your finger. It’s turning red.”

I have been scrubbing the spot where Joel planted that sneak-kiss on me absent-mindedly while my gaze was transfixed on the door. Gil takes my arm to stop me, and I look back at him. He is knitting his brow pretty severely… Joel really seems to know how to get on Gil’s nerves, doesn’t he? I’m the one who has to deal with the aftermath, so Joel, please, be considerate.

“Oh, I forgot! Lina, if you want to run away, me and my wife can lend you a hand to return the favor of helping me get free. Gil dares not talk back to my wife, so it’d be super safe. Bye!”

Joel has opened the door just a little and says that without stepping in. Gil runs to chase him, but Joel has disappeared as quickly as he has intruded by then. These yellow aura guys, I tell you.

But there is one detail bothering me now, and that is his last line.

“So, Gil, are you acquainted with Joel’s wife?”

What does he mean by Gil not daring to talk back to her? I just have to know what the deal is with that.

“Do you remember before… when I told you about how I do business in town?”

He told me about that when he gave me my glasses, I think. Yeah, I remember. I nod.

“Long story short, she’s my boss.”

So she is a merchant. What kind of merchant hires literal royalty, though… My interest piques all the more. I was going to ask some follow-up questions, but Gil preempts me.

“Anyway, Lina… did you feel like swooning there a bit?”

“Excuse me?”

“Well, you said you really like my face. And Joel and I look like each other a lot because we’re brothers. So, did you feel anything when kissed by him?”

What, that’s not how— Geez, the things a guy can come up with just to try to keep a girl from inquiring about another girl.

“No way!”

I shoot him down without hesitation. Don’t you dare think a girl gets happy automatically if the guy stealing a kiss from her happens to be good-looking. Didn’t you see I scrubbed my forehead where he kissed me till it got red?

“My elder brother Joel is a skirt chaser. When he told me he had found a woman he wanted to marry and settle with, I couldn’t believe it at first. But even though he has grown a bit since then… He hasn’t really changed, after all. There’s no telling how many women he has seduced over the years with his cheap act.”

You are one to talk, though! I can honest-to-god testify to how much you use your “dreamy prince glitter effect” when you are around girls! As a victim of your charming powers, now I am wondering how many girls fell for you. The glitter effect works, I can tell you that.

“I… don’t feel anything towards His Highness Lord Joel.”

“You sure? Not even a little?”

“Not even the faintest trace of anything at all!”

Gil is usually pretty sharp, but he doesn’t catch my drift by how I emphasize “towards” there. I’m embarrassed to say it out loud. Take a hint!

“Maybe… you’ll run away with him?”

Fuzzy today, are we? Sure, I washed up in this castle, not exactly intending to do so, but I’m here now by my own will.

“Weren’t you listening before, Gil? I wouldn’t do anything to disappoint the people I respect so much and who have put their faith in me. It is just…”

I stammer a bit at the end there, and I suddenly want to hide my face. My mood gets cloudy. Ahh! Geez! You don’t have to look at me like that. Don’t make me say this to you.

“If you were connecting with that lady in a way other than as prince and businessman… maybe I could feel like running away.”

I look up at Gil to see his reaction, and I am faced with an oddly happy smile that stuns me a bit. No matter how many times I see his smile, it’s as wonderful as if it is the first time I see it. And I am puzzled myself but, as Gil said, Joel’s countenance is indeed very reminiscent of his, and yet, my heart only flutters if it is Gil’s. That hasn’t changed from the start.

“I’ll go get you some disinfectant for your scrape.”

He sleekly clears my forehead with his hand and looks at my reddish mark there.

“Uh, I’m okay. Aren’t you exagge—”

Gil’s lips plant a soft kiss on my forehead on the reddish spot. I blush and try to push him away slightly with one hand. Gil just laughs sweetly and brings his face close to me again after brushing away my hand. And he kisses me once again.

“Gotta overwrite, you see?”

Gil moves back a little, and I think, “Oh, so that’s what this is about,” when his lips close in again. Only this time, instead of my forehead…

“Does this spot need attention too?”

Gil whispers sensually, and I feel his warm breath on me as he does. His hand raises my chin and tilts my face towards his, but our lips stop just before touching. Just that little pause is enough to make me feel like my lungs, heart, and every blood vessel inside me would explode.

“N-no!”

Just when our lips are an infinitesimal distance from touching, the palm of my hand lands on Gil’s mouth and pushes his face away. That hand is a bit overzealous on its duty, and Gil ends up with his neck bent backward. Ah, my farmgirl strength is working against me here.

“S-sorry. A-are you… hurt?”

Gil snaps his neck back to its normal position and looks at me with an unmistakably dejected face. Yeah, I absolutely dynamited the mood; that much is for sure.

“Why… not?”

W-why? I don’t know why. It’s not that I don’t want to. But I feel as if my heart wouldn’t be able to sustain the burden.

Gil seemingly frets as the pause increases, and I am still confused and unable to choose the words I want to say. He reaches out with one hand down to my necklace and holds the diamond between his fingers.

Is this a gesture saying something like “I want my reward for this diamond”? There’s no way one of my kisses is worth as much as that incredible stone, though; I’m pretty sure of that.

However, there is something else I’m pretty sure of, and that is that I absolutely dislike the thought of this going like “Hey, I wanna kiss, here I go,” “Oh, OK, sure, sure.” I imagine it being more natural or in a way that my body doesn’t feel defensive. Something more gentle on my poor heart. I don’t know how to say it.

Gil interprets my silence as rejection. So instead, he brings the diamond between his fingers to his lips and kisses it gently while continuing to stare at me intently.

“When will it be alright?”

That face, those eyes… dazzling, too dazzling! His navy blue eyes peeking through the gaps of his soft blonde hair are yearning. The shining prince has a sad face because he wants my ki-kiss! What’s going on!? How can such a person like me!?

That’s it! Why does he like me? What does he see in me? Abruptly, I find the words I want to say. And I won’t feel satisfied until he answers them.

“Gil, what do you like about me? Why? How come? Since when?”

Gil visibly gulps and seems at a loss of words. I don’t like this reaction.

“T-that’s not— I was just saying I wanted to give you a kiss…”

Gil pulls back, but I don’t let him, clinging to his lapel with clenched fists.

“When you can answer that question! Ah! When you propose to me, I will think about it! Until then, I can’t kiss you!”

“What!? I proposed to you! You just fell asleep and didn’t hear a word of it!”

What is he talking about? I don’t know anything about that!

“It doesn’t count if I didn’t hear it! Being proposed to is every girl’s dream! Making up excuses is terrible!”

Gil looks distantly at nothing, seemingly lost in deep thought. And then, when he returns his gaze at me, he locks eyes with me and says in a very faint and soft voice.

“Is that… your dream as well?”

He sounds like he has been thinking of me as a non-ordinary girl who has no interest in being proposed to. But I admit I fall squarely in that category, you know.

Eye contact. Our eyes gaze into each other’s as if looking for each other’s true intentions. However, I take back something I said earlier. I haven’t the faintest clue what Gil is thinking. And conversely, I wonder if he is really receiving my feelings as he looks into my eyes. I want you to propose to me. I want to hear it so much. That’s what I am sending from my heart to my eyes.

For a while, we keep staring at each other. Gil averts his eyes first.

“I… get it. I give up for today.”

Huh!? Why!?

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