3.3 Until the Day I Lose Her—bottom part of memoirs~
The Duke asked sardonically.
The long recuperation period had proven itself beneficial for Anne. She had regained her former condition—the blush returned to her cheeks and dyed it with rosy colors; she was no longer thin, nor fragile.
However, said recovery only extended to her physical aspect—
—and that’s the end of it.
“Long time no see, Duke Westin.”
“…Oh, I heard from Nii-sama that our marriage is ending. Hence, I was wondering if I should still refer to you as ‘my Husband’…”
Like a naive and absorbed-in-wonder kid, she had spun a cruel assembly of words.
That cruelty, however, suited the harshness of reality.
“…Y, you, what are your thoughts about this? Do you want to get separated from me?”
I hadn’t even begun my first step toward the path of attaining your forgiveness, and yet, closing in on me, was the merciless ‘beginning of the end’.
“I objected to it at first, but then it came into my mind—there’s scar in my body now; my skin is no longer without blemish. Also, whether or not I can conceive an heir for you after sustaining such injuries—“
“—None of that matters!”
Uncharacteristically of me, I suddenly went and interrupted her words in a loud voice and thus, surprised her.
“You truly mean it…?”
“I understand. Once Onii-sama and Otou-sama allow it, I shall return with you to your residence—but,
“If I could ask but a single request, …Can you stop making that mistake with my name?
“Duke of Westin, my name is Maria.”
The only answer I could manage was an incoherent one.
“Good afternoon to you, Duke Westin.”
Likewise as of today, I went to visit the Count of Brent.
The expressions on both Raymond and Count Brent display utter rejection toward my presence, however;
If I did not proceed with this act of atonement, I will never get a second of sleep!
Even now, the nightmare still hadn’t loosen its grip on my mind;
The haunting, and also vivid, flashback of Anne Marie whom was about to cry.
She called herself ‘Maria’—meanwhile her surrounding, adamant in retaining her former self, continued on calling her ‘Anne Marie’. Finally, all of them reached a consensus;
She was nicknamed ‘Marie’, the combination of both.
“Marie, today I brought this for you—will you don it for me?”
For her, I had brought a dress, a fresh bouquet, and a cake;
The dress was of a simple design. Its pale blue color signified fresh ‘cleanliness’.
The flowers were, unquestionably, gerberas.
And the cake tasted that of a sweet and sour flavor.
That time when Liliana and Raymond tried to confirm about Anne Marie’s preference, I committed it to my memory.
And I shall never forget about it.
Having said that, I thought that if I presented her with gifts she once liked, the ‘her’ that I had once knew would also return—
“Don’t you remember? Back during our childhood, you and I loved to sit in front of the lake and read books together. Often, when we gazed at the river, you would say things like, ‘When the rays of the sun reflect off the lake’s surface, the water looks so dazzling that I wish to take it home with me’. I couldn’t bring you the lake, so please accept this instead…”
“…I wonder if I truly did such a thing.”
The doctor’s examination revealed that inside of her mind, Anne Marie was our childhood friend that died during her adolescent—or so according to her own statements.
If so, giving Anne presents that she loved before she reached that age might trigger something.
It may even touch her heart.
“I’m sorry, it sounded like a romantic conversation, but I can’t remember much about it.”
Anne Marie was so thoughtful of me, she went and apologized deeply for not being able to recall anything—
—even thought none of it is your fault.
“No, it isn’t your fault—after all, this is a punishment I, myself, ought to bear.”
“And by the way, uh, Duke Westin—…”
“What is it?”
“My name is Maria. My likes are roses, bright colored dress, and sweet flavored snacks.”
…Ah, I see…
Is it too late now?
Can I no longer apologize to you—to Anne Marie?
“Keep it in mind so you aren’t mistaken next time.”
Hearing such remark issued so nonchalantly by her, I couldn’t bear it. Almost. The inside of my chest felt as if it was gradually being torn apart.
If only she would just forget everything about me, made it seemed like I had never committed any sins from the very start—wouldn’t that be wonderful?
However, no such miracles existed.
At first, I did it out of utter sense of responsibility and also obligation—to make up for everything that I did; to apologize for making her eyes well up with sadness.
But it gradually turned into frustration.
And then came a sense of loss.
I am no longer sure what feeling eventually remained after all of them.
Regardless of that, I still came to visit her anyway.
“Good afternoon, Marie.”
“Good afternoon to you too, Duke Westin.”
Judging by her mood, it seemed like today was a fine day for Anne Marie.
To her utmost, she tried to affect me with her cheerfulness too.
Even until now, she still hadn’t regained her memory, nor herself—wasn’t it the same as suffering, then? Albeit unconsciously.
Even until now, down to this very second, I was tormenting this poor girl.
What a two-edged sword it was; the guilt still tormented me too, even until now.
All of the sudden, it flashed into my mind—
“If someone else is miserable because of you, you will carry that burden for the rest of your life.”
—Oh, brother! How true were your words!
***T/N: And that finally concludes the memoir!
So our Danna-sama tried his best, using one method he deemed absolutely would work once and for all, ...and then he gives up.
Danna-sama! You. Had. One. Job. Chides Gilbert for his lack of resolves
And by the way, Lily’s role was really magnificent last chapter! She concluded everything that I wanted to say toward Gilbert in one impressive paragraph! Thus I really wanted to draw her; do continue on supporting our Great Onee-sama toward her reign of badassery!
Please do consider donating for more pictures on either paypal or patron~
*P.S : Do tell me in comment section whom are you interested for me to draw next! Is it our Queen, Maria? Or the gentle and quiet Raymond? Or the cheerful Your Majesty Dion? Or…… our Danna sama?????