1.4 My Husband Despises Me to the Point He Wants to Kill Me
Jerd, who raised his face after a while, looked neither regretful nor angry.
He was completely expressionless. When I realized he truly had no interest in me, I cried.
“With that kind of body, what are you going to do when you leave this place—!?”
When I tried to conceal my sobs, my voice instead became steep.
“Nowadays, I’m used to only having one arm. I’m sure I can find a job that will sustain my life.”
I was feeling bitter because part of what he said was the true. At this point, he was already stronger than the viscount’s escorts, so getting a job should be easy for him.
“I don’t think Duke Carneus will let you go.”
The marriage had been decided by the order of the duke, so a divorce wouldn’t be easy.
“It has been almost three months since we’ve gotten married. Shouldn’t the duke be satisfied with that? He did say he won’t allow you to escape, but you won’t be held responsible if I am the one who escapes—therefore it should be fine.”
Jerd’s words, they were as if he had planned that all along…
…Did he want to divorce me that much?
“But I am your wife!”
“I’m not going to tie you down forever. If marrying Bennio would attain your happiness, then I am okay with it.”
I got angry at my husband whom said that with such a flat expression.
I thought it was truly unreasonable—for I was the wife of Jerd! Even if I was hated, even if it was merely on paper… I couldn’t stand being easily handed over to another man!
“So, you want me to be the happy wife of an unfaithful man who was easily deceived by another woman and selfishly broke his engagement!? If you truly hate me so, then just kill me! I would rather be killed by you than marry such a man—!!!”
I looked straight into Jerd’s eyes—it surely is offensive to say such things…
Despite so, his deep green eyes were truly mesmerizing.
“…So, uh, do you hate this guy?”
Confused, Jerd pointed at Bennio.
“Of course. How am I supposed to love a man who had been engaged with me for ten whole years but still dared to believe the words of another woman over mine? Then, to top it off, he annulled our engagement as he pleased, isn’t it only natural for me to hate him?”
“I, is that so? Bennio, my wife doesn’t seem too keen on the idea of marrying you. I am sorry, but can you leave now?”
J, just now, Jerd referred to me as his wife, didn’t he!?
Oh no… I can’t hold back my smile…
“B, but, if the annulment hadn’t happened, this territory was originally supposed to be mine! My point is, if I leave, I will be in deeper trouble!”
“Whose fault is that? You’re the one who betrayed your wife-to-be. I won’t give you a wife, nor I will give you a territory.”
Jerd then wrapped his left arm around my waist. My face grew hot—it must be bright red.
“Is this truly what you want? Is it okay to leave everything as it is?”
Bennio was muttering something, but I couldn’t hear anything other than my loud heartbeats.
“I will have someone escort you back.”
Since I had nothing left to say, Jerd ordered the escort in the corner of the room.
“Forgive me, I touched you carelessly.”
When Bennio was pulled by his arms by the escort, Jerd panicked and released his grip. Then, he took two steps away from me.
“No, it’s alright. You just protected me from that man, I’m truly happy.”
He was probably doing that to force Bennio to give up, but I was really happy with Jerd’s attitude of not wanting to give up his wife. I was so moved, tears started to trickle down.
“Don’t you hate being touched by me?”
“I am your wife.”
When I said so, Jerd lowered his face.
“Can I visit your bedroom tonight?”
After a while, Jerd looked up, as if he had decided something. He asked such a thing with a fleeting voice. The escort had left, but there was still a maid in the room. If she heard that, then it was truly embarrassing.
“If that’s what you want.”
Jerd smiled happily when he received my answer.
It was the first I had ever seen him smile, I was truly fascinated by Jerd.
But it couldn’t be helped.
He was tougher, firmer, and stronger than anyone else.
It would be hard not to love him.
That night, keeping his word, Jerd came to my bedroom.
“I thought you didn’t want to see me due to greatly resembling my brother…”
I still remembered how Jerd kept a certain distance from me, and even insisted he didn’t want me in sight.
“That’s not true. The only resemblance between you and him is your hair color. I am really glad you look nothing like that burly guy. I wanted to see you all the time, but I thought you hated me.”
The huge man, Jerd, bashfully lowered his gaze. His gesture was kind of adorable.
“But you said that you couldn’t stay calm when you’re near me… doesn’t that mean you’re angry with me?”
“As if any man could stay calm when being in the presence of a beautiful woman like you.”
That sounded like a complaint—so, I misunderstood everything?
“But… didn’t you love Lady Cecilia?”
That was why he endured such torture for her, right?
“She was the future wife of our monarch, to even have such thoughts about her is not permissible.”
His answer was truly serious, like a knight.
“You told me that once I die, you will return the territory to my father. I was terrified—I thought you were going to kill me.”
“I’m sorry for scaring you. I didn’t mean it that way. I meant it in regards to much further down the future. Once you die, I would return this territory to the Knight Leader. I thought we’d be staying in separate bedroom forever, therefore, an heir would never be conceived between us. The territory wouldn’t be taken over by anyone once you die.”
“I thought we slept in the separate bedrooms because you hate me…”
“That’s not it at all. You’re truly beautiful, it’s impossible to hate you. In fact, I thought you wouldn’t like me who has such an ugly body.”
“It’s my brother’s fault—that’s why, I thought you would hate me, too.”
“You are not to be blamed, nor did I ever hate you. I sympathized with you, who had been forced to marry a man like me. That’s why I refrained from ever touching you. I’m afraid you will be terrified once you see my body.”
He truly seemed scared. Jerd’s left hand was trembling.
“—Please, let me look at your body.”
If I didn’t, I felt like I wouldn’t be able to move forward.
What did my brother do? To what extent did Jerd suffer?
That was why, I wouldn’t look away from reality.
After hesitating for a while, Jerd took off his jacket in one go.
“If it’s too unbearable of a sight, please say so. I will leave this room.”
Jerd stared at me anxiously.
His toned, muscular body had innumerable severe scars and burns. His right arm was missing below the elbow.
How he had suffered!
Still, he never tried to lie to escape the torment.
That was why—
—as if I could hate such scars.
“I am sorry.”
I just couldn’t forgive my moronic brother—
—and I just couldn’t help but love my husband.
Approaching the tall Jerd, I leapt into his chest. Steadily, he caught me using his left arm.
Even when I tiptoed, my lips could only reach his tall neck.
I kissed the burn mark in front of me.
The face of my husband, whom called my name for the first time, was bright red.
“…So, uh, do you hate this guy?”
Confused, Jerd pointed at Bennio.
LOL. Continue being you, Jerd, continue being you.