55. A Momentary Peace
The summer sun was waning.
The early morning breeze on the first day of autumn felt nice against the skin.
As I spread the curtains, the vibrant autumn sunlight shone through the opening.
—aah, it’s morning, already.
I woke up slowly from my bed, which was covered in linen sheets.
…then, my gaze turned to William, whom was quietly sleeping next to me.
Two months had passed since William invited me to live with him. William kept his word. After asking for forgiveness from my father, he welcomed me to his mansion—as if I was in a hurry. I bought all my belongings.
Ever since that day, I started living together with William—
—that said, not once had he laid a finger on me…
…it would be a lie if I say I’m satisfied—
—but, I was happy enough with my current situation.
My gaze wandered around the room. William’s room was barren. His room was much simpler than mine. White walls; a scarlet carpet, a brown bed and table, two single seat sofas, a chest, and a bookshelf. That was all the room consisted of.
—someone said to me a long time ago, the room reflects the identity of a person. This room should be reflecting the owner’s heart.
So what did William’s room, which consisted of barely anything, say about him?
Was his heart as bland as this room?
I was so worried about that when I first arrived. Now, I didn’t even care.
I realized no matter how much I concerned myself with it, I still wouldn’t be able to change a single thing.
My voice still hadn’t returned. Still, William’s parents, the Marquis of Winchester, treated me very amiably. Too amiable, in fact. I was starting to get afraid.
—even so, I was happy. Because I could stare at his sleeping face as much as I wanted.
My hand extended to touch William’s hair. Chestnut-colored, soft hair. Dignified eyes. Tantalizing jawline. Thin lips. Every parts of him shook my heart—my chest was burning.
—…I love you, I love you so much that every time I see you, I want to crush your lips with mine…
Not good. It was still too early.
For the last two months, William had been very kind to me. He treated me with the utmost generosity, as if I was a precious treasure—however, it was different.
He still didn’t love me. If his partner wasn’t me, but another woman, he would have surely treated her with the same kindness.
He was so kind to me, I knew. However, his heart wasn’t mine, yet. As I had said, this was different than love…
…because the way William’s eyes stared at me still were not passionate—the way Elliot would gaze at me.
…Didn’t matter, though. I still liked this person. I still loved this person.
From the bottom of my heart, more than anyone else.
It didn’t matter if his feelings for me still couldn’t be called love. No one else’s thoughts matter—I loved him, and I was happy with my present situation…
Again and again, I caressed his hair.
—what a cute sleeping face he has…
I smiled without realizing.
William was waking up—I wondered if he noticed my hand, which was patting his head.
He slowly opened his eyes. I could see his pupils—deep green, like a lush forest. So beautiful.
“—ah, Amelia, good morning…”
As he smiled softly, he was still half-asleep—what a wonderful smile. I would never get tired of it. I wanted to gaze at it all the time—I wanted to immerse myself in it all the time.
Perhaps he noticed my feelings, but when he rolled over towards me, his lips curved upward. His adorable smile was making fun of me.
“Every day, you keep staring at my face, don’t you get tired of it?”
So he noticed it, too…
He didn’t love me. But I loved him. My strong feelings towards him could already be counted as obsession. That was right—and I didn’t even try to hide it. I didn’t want to.
Still, I was a little disappointed.
—how to win this person’s heart?
I was thinking about that every day.
To love him, and to be loved in return.
If I managed to do so, Lewis would lend his hand. He would save William’s soul.
Once I reached my objective, I would have no choice but to leave him—to end his relationship with me. But that was alright.
Still, since I loved this person—I would savor every moment I had with him. However, I must be careful not to get swayed.
I smiled at William.
There was no time to be shy. If there was such time, I would rather use it to win more of his affection.
My smile made William narrows his eyes—he woke up and exhaled.
“Amelia, could you be angry at me right now?”
Saying that, he side glanced me. At the same time, it felt like said glance was attempting to falsify something from me.
—indeed, sometimes, he would appear like this. I didn’t know the meaning, but there was a high chance that he was hiding something. It was probably also the reason why he never had a lover before. Or why he easily accepted the condition of never loving me that night.
I was sure Lewis knew the reason behind it. However, I doubted he would ever tell me. Maybe because it was better if I didn’t know, because it was unneeded—if so, I would comply. I was curious, but I was afraid that it would result in harm befalling William.
Sometimes, it was better to stay ignorant. Such was the way of the world.
“Let’s go, it’s time for breakfast, Amelia.”
William confirmed the time through the clock on the wall and gently got off the bed.
When he turned around, he smiled again—his usual smile. It only caused me to grow anxious. But, this was fine. My love for William would never change.
I slowly got off from the bed, too, with his hand pulling me. His body temperature was warmer than mine. It was as comfortable as that day—even after two months had passed, my raging heart still wouldn’t subside.
—I love you William.
I could only smile at William. That was the only thing I could do—mute as I was. I was only allowed one method of conveying my love to him.
At the same time, I could only dream. I could only dream for the moment when William finally grabbed my hand with utter affection arrived. For the moment when I could be encased in his love—
***T/N: Uuuughh, for me, this is really disgusting. She’s all like “TRUEEEE WUVVVV” when all she did is imposing her bizarre “””love””” on William and otherwise treating him like Elliot’s substitute when dude got no recollection whatsoever about his past lives and all that shit. I don’t care if she can feel other people’s soul or whatever. If I’m William, I would surely be disheartened if someone that said they “loved me” is actually just projecting their dead (YEAH YOU READ THAT RIGHT, AMELIA, HE’S DEAD. MOVE ON.) lover on an otherwise full fledged individual with sets of personality–moreover when they fucking insist on making you act like said deceased lover. Amelia truly held no respect whatsoever for William. She just didn’t grasp that mayhap–MAYHAPS–if her past lover is dead, and the current dude had no recollections whatsoever, he might be a completely different individual on his own! And there’s nothing wrong with that! She can at least try to get to know him better–BUT NO!!! ‘oooh Elliot used to do this tooooo, ohhhh Elliot used to do that tooooooo‘
And take a look at what makes Amelia’s heart throbs whenever she sees William! hinthint EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM IS HIS FUCKING PHYSICAL ASPECTS, AND NEVER HIS PERSONALITY. “BEAUTIFUL EYES, BEAUTIFUL SMILE, TIGHT JAWLINE AND BLAH AND BLAH–” SHE CARES NOT ABOUT HIS PERSONALITY OR ANYTHING THAT BASICALLY MAKES WILLIAM “WILLIAM”–BUT THEN SHE EXPECTS HIM TO BARE HIMSELF TO HER, EW. ALL SOMEONE NEEDS TO DO IS LOOK LIKE ELLIOT OR GIVE ELLIOT’S VIBES OR HAVE ELLIOT’S SOUL IDK HOW SHE KNEW AND SHE IS ALL SET ON THROWING HERSELF ALL OVER THEIR KNEES, FUCK THEIR OVERALL PERSONALITY. TALK ABOUT LUST. MOVE ON, YOU MILLENIUM YEARS OLD RAGGEDY HAG, WILLIAM DESERVES SOMEONE SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU.
Sorry not sorry for the long rant. I hope the author would actually make us and Amelia see that this relationship is toxic as fuck. If she decides to glorify this……… romance…….. until the end, idk if I would continue translating this.