55. A Momentary Peace
The summer sun was waning.
The early morning breeze on the first day of autumn felt nice against the skin.
As I spread the curtains, the vibrant autumn sunlight shone through the opening.
āaah, itās morning, already.
I woke up slowly from my bed, which was covered in linen sheets.
ā¦then, my gaze turned to William, whom was quietly sleeping next to me.
Two months had passed since William invited me to live with him. William kept his word. After asking for forgiveness from my father, he welcomed me to his mansionāas if I was in a hurry. I bought all my belongings.
Ever since that day, I started living together with Williamā
āthat said, not once had he laid a finger on meā¦
ā¦it would be a lie if I say Iām satisfiedā
ābut, I was happy enough with my current situation.
My gaze wandered around the room. Williamās room was barren. His room was much simpler than mine. White walls; a scarlet carpet, a brown bed and table, two single seat sofas, a chest, and a bookshelf. That was all the room consisted of.
āsomeone said to me a long time ago, the room reflects the identity of a person. This room should be reflecting the ownerās heart.
So what did Williamās room, which consisted of barely anything, say about him?
Was his heart as bland as this room?
I was so worried about that when I first arrived. Now, I didnāt even care.
I realized no matter how much I concerned myself with it, I still wouldnāt be able to change a single thing.
āāā¦ā
My voice still hadnāt returned. Still, Williamās parents, the Marquis of Winchester, treated me very amiably. Too amiable, in fact. I was starting to get afraid.
āeven so, I was happy. Because I could stare at his sleeping face as much as I wanted.
My hand extended to touch Williamās hair. Chestnut-colored, soft hair. Dignified eyes. Tantalizing jawline. Thin lips. Every parts of him shook my heartāmy chest was burning.
āā¦I love you, I love you so much that every time I see you, I want to crush your lips with mineā¦
āā¦ā
Not good. It was still too early.
For the last two months, William had been very kind to me. He treated me with the utmost generosity, as if I was a precious treasureāhowever, it was different.
He still didnāt love me. If his partner wasnāt me, but another woman, he would have surely treated her with the same kindness.
He was so kind to me, I knew. However, his heart wasnāt mine, yet. As I had said, this was different than loveā¦
ā¦because the way Williamās eyes stared at me still were not passionateāthe way Elliot would gaze at me.
ā¦Didnāt matter, though. I still liked this person. I still loved this person.
From the bottom of my heart, more than anyone else.
It didnāt matter if his feelings for me still couldnāt be called love. No one elseās thoughts matterāI loved him, and I was happy with my present situationā¦
āā¦ā
Again and again, I caressed his hair.
āwhat a cute sleeping face he hasā¦
I smiled without realizing.
āānā¦ā
William was waking upāI wondered if he noticed my hand, which was patting his head.
He slowly opened his eyes. I could see his pupilsādeep green, like a lush forest. So beautiful.
āāah, Amelia, good morningā¦ā
As he smiled softly, he was still half-asleepāwhat a wonderful smile. I would never get tired of it. I wanted to gaze at it all the timeāI wanted to immerse myself in it all the time.
Perhaps he noticed my feelings, but when he rolled over towards me, his lips curved upward. His adorable smile was making fun of me.
āEvery day, you keep staring at my face, donāt you get tired of it?ā
āāā
Ah⦠right.
So he noticed it, tooā¦
He didnāt love me. But I loved him. My strong feelings towards him could already be counted as obsession. That was rightāand I didnāt even try to hide it. I didnāt want to.
Still, I was a little disappointed.
āhow to win this personās heart?
I was thinking about that every day.
To love him, and to be loved in return.
If I managed to do so, Lewis would lend his hand. He would save Williamās soul.
Once I reached my objective, I would have no choice but to leave himāto end his relationship with me. But that was alright.
Still, since I loved this personāI would savor every moment I had with him. However, I must be careful not to get swayed.
I smiled at William.
There was no time to be shy. If there was such time, I would rather use it to win more of his affection.
My smile made William narrows his eyesāhe woke up and exhaled.
āAmelia, could you be angry at me right now?ā
Saying that, he side glanced me. At the same time, it felt like said glance was attempting to falsify something from me.
āindeed, sometimes, he would appear like this. I didnāt know the meaning, but there was a high chance that he was hiding something. It was probably also the reason why he never had a lover before. Or why he easily accepted the condition of never loving me that night.
I was sure Lewis knew the reason behind it. However, I doubted he would ever tell me. Maybe because it was better if I didnāt know, because it was unneededāif so, I would comply. I was curious, but I was afraid that it would result in harm befalling William.
Sometimes, it was better to stay ignorant. Such was the way of the world.
āLetās go, itās time for breakfast, Amelia.ā
William confirmed the time through the clock on the wall and gently got off the bed.
When he turned around, he smiled againāhis usual smile. It only caused me to grow anxious. But, this was fine. My love for William would never change.
I slowly got off from the bed, too, with his hand pulling me. His body temperature was warmer than mine. It was as comfortable as that dayāeven after two months had passed, my raging heart still wouldnāt subside.
āI love you William.
I could only smile at William. That was the only thing I could doāmute as I was. I was only allowed one method of conveying my love to him.
At the same time, I could only dream. I could only dream for the moment when William finally grabbed my hand with utter affection arrived. For the moment when I could be encased in his loveā
***T/N: Uuuughh, for me, this is really disgusting. She’s all like “TRUEEEE WUVVVV” when all she did is imposing her bizarre “””love””” on William and otherwise treating him like Elliot’s substitute when dude got no recollection whatsoever about his past lives and all that shit. I don’t care if she can feel other people’s soul or whatever. If I’m William, I would surely be disheartened if someone that said they “loved me” is actually just projecting their dead (YEAH YOU READ THAT RIGHT, AMELIA, HE’S DEAD. MOVE ON.) lover on an otherwise full fledged individual with sets of personality–moreover when they fucking insist on making you act like said deceased lover. Amelia truly held no respect whatsoever for William. She just didn’t grasp that mayhap–MAYHAPS–if her past lover is dead, and the current dude had no recollections whatsoever, he might be a completely different individual on his own! And there’s nothing wrong with that! She can at least try to get to know him better–BUT NO!!! ‘oooh Elliot used to do this tooooo, ohhhh Elliot used to do that tooooooo‘
Basically, ew.
And take a look at what makes Amelia’s heart throbs whenever she sees William! hinthint EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM IS HIS FUCKING PHYSICAL ASPECTS, AND NEVER HIS PERSONALITY. “BEAUTIFUL EYES, BEAUTIFUL SMILE, TIGHT JAWLINE AND BLAH AND BLAH–” SHE CARES NOT ABOUT HIS PERSONALITY OR ANYTHING THAT BASICALLY MAKES WILLIAM “WILLIAM”–BUT THEN SHE EXPECTS HIM TO BARE HIMSELF TO HER, EW. ALL SOMEONE NEEDS TO DO IS LOOK LIKE ELLIOT OR GIVE ELLIOT’S VIBES OR HAVE ELLIOT’S SOUL IDK HOW SHE KNEW AND SHE IS ALL SET ON THROWING HERSELF ALL OVER THEIR KNEES, FUCK THEIR OVERALL PERSONALITY. TALK ABOUT LUST. MOVE ON, YOU MILLENIUM YEARS OLD RAGGEDY HAG, WILLIAM DESERVES SOMEONE SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU.
Sorry not sorry for the long rant. I hope the author would actually make us and Amelia see that this relationship is toxic as fuck. If she decides to glorify this……… romance…….. until the end, idk if I would continue translating this.
She doesn’t love him. I hope she starts to realise that even though Elliot’s soul resides in his body, they are 2 different people that have completely different personalities.
I am late in reading this chapter, but I am having a hard time following the plot. I’ll try to recap:
Lewis said he will save William’s soul if Amelia manages to make William fall in love with her, so, why she asked William to promise her to NOT fall in love with her?
It’s often difficult to follow what the characters are really thinking, I get that the author aimed at creating a sense of mystery but it is not delivered well.
I don’t judge Amelia so rashly like you did. Yes, she shouldn’t project her old lover memories onto William, but she has lived for 1000 years and has developed a not so healthy obsession, I pity her
That amount of time spent I deciphering words per words that basically just mean I LOVE YOU WILLIAM gotta turn into hatred one way or another