Tempest Targets Trump Tower

NEW YORK – “Act of God” hurricane hits Trump Tower, New York, New York City. Experts estimate close to $1 billion in property damage alone. Although president-elect Donald Trump was not present when the disaster struck, his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, was in filling out the needed documents so he could assume management responsibilities. He was found hiding in the company bomb shelter hidden in the tower cellar. Also with him were 27 undocumented immigrant workers, members of the janitorial and kitchen staff.  
Unnamed members of the international community had this to say, “Maybe now he’ll take the Paris [Climate Change Convention] more seriously.”  
President Trump had this to say, “Act of God? This was no Act of God. It’s an Act of the Devil!” When prompted as to whether he thought this is climate change related, “That’s a hoax, a conspiracy. I don’t believe it. Lies from the corrupt left wing media. You know what I’m going to do? I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I am going to rebuild. Trump Tower will resurrect better than before. It’ll be better than the best. That’s what I’m going to do.”
As to his reply for the international community. “The U.N. has a nice piece of real estate not too far from here. Maybe I’ll relocate. I don’t know? Depends.”  
-Gandire Dezi