Trigger warning: mentions of suicide

The expression of both Spencer and Thomas twisted. Perhaps, they experienced Dexter’s emotions on a daily basis.

“And yet… King Frederick spared me.”

After becoming a concubine, his daughter was made to pay with her life.

What the public didn’t know was that Dexter didn’t receive any sort of compensation.

In fact, that was how Dexter realized that Frederick was purposefully keeping him alive despite knowing everything.

At that time, influential figures had committed crimes left and right, yet most of them hadn’t been brought to justice.

Dexter quickly surmised the reason was because if everyone were to be sentenced, the kingdom would fall apart.

After the passing of his daughter, Dexter had become uncharacteristically quiet, enough for Frederick to determine him to be less of a threat. The fact that Dexter was talented and popular with the public probably played a part in it.

Dexter didn’t make any negotiations with Frederick. He was also notified that his charges were pending.

While those in power were being put to trial one after another, Dexter was left alone.

There was no mention of the many crimes he had committed until the passing of his daughter. He was only informed that no compensation would be paid.

‘As a marquis, you are to perform duties appropriate to your rank.’

Such was written on the single letter that was delivered to his mansion.

It only burdened him even more.

Even though Frederick knew everything, Dexter was neither exposed nor punished for his crimes. He was allowed to live peacefully.

He spent his days feeling like a shell of a person. He often thought to himself, ‘What should I do?’

“I didn’t know how to make amends to my daughter. Even though I deserved death, to simply end my own life didn’t feel right… Then, it suddenly occurred to me. To live and suffer from my sins would be the closest I could come to as atonement. In the past, I’ve neglected the management of my territory and made my people suffer. Even if they begged for help, I would make excuses such as the government not providing subsidies. So, I decided to do my best for the territory. Only after it had been rebuilt and prospered would I suffer the most painful of deaths.”

Sometime after the rebellion, the doubts regarding Dexter’s true nature vanished without a trace after everyone saw the way he worked for his territory. No longer did his people suspect him, they fully believed him a good lord.

A pitiful yet proud lord who, despite having lost his daughter to the king, still earnestly devoted himself to his country and territory.

Dexter strictly educated his young son who had grown up spoiled. Nevertheless, he also warmly encouraged and supported him.

Thus, his son, Spencer, grew to be a worthy successor. No longer was he that boy who—just like his father—saw his sister as a mere tool. Instead, he became an adult who understood his responsibilities.

Dexter had changed. He also raised a worthy successor.

Still, his determination to meet his end in the most painful way possible remained unwavering.

“When I realized that the aristocrats whose charges were pending at the time were being dealt with, I thought my time had come. I feel remorse over what I’ve done to everyone, including the people of the Marquis family, the people in the East, and everyone else involved. I did it out of my own selfishness. King Frederick is the son of the previous king and his wife, both of whom killed my daughter. I simply couldn’t accept that someone like him is being worshipped as a hero.”

Thus, he conspired to harm the kingdom, in hopes that it would lead to his own downfall. Dexter admitted that weakly.

“I assume you also had a grudge against the countess?”

“I did.” Dexter affirmed.

The younger sister of Countess Isabella once became a concubine of the previous king of her own volition. She was part of the previous queen’s entourage, and she was one of the people who had relentlessly tormented Dexter’s daughter. Through her sister, Countess Isabella won the favor of the previous queen, and often participated in the harassment.

“This was revenge, Your Highness. I know I had no right to do such a thing, but I…”

Dexter would get his revenge against the royal family and Countess Isabella, with which he’d bring about his downfall, as well. At the same time, Thomas would get his revenge against the count family who hadn’t yet been punished. The conditions were just right.

“However, you limited the damage to a level that could be compensated for by the assets of you and those involved in this plan. Was that intentional? You even calculated compensation for innocent bystanders that might end up inadvertently pulled into it.”

The Marquis of Allport family, the Count of Starkey family, the illegal sales organization that did business with Pascal, and their customers. By exacting revenge, they would also be bringing that illegal organization into the spotlight. The amount of illegal assets accumulated from that was likely to be immense.

If Pascal had been more idiotic and careless than expected, the damage might’ve been even greater. Yet somehow, everything went according to Dexter’s expectations.

Regardless, even if everything was within his expectations, it didn’t change the fact that there were those who suffered.

Dexter was once a man who dedicated his heart and soul to the pursuit of greater power, wealth, and fame. He wasn’t above committing crimes behind the scenes. Then, all of the sudden, one day, he became an ideal marquis, leaving everyone confused.

“If you had only learned how to properly care for others before recommending your daughter to the late king, and paid more attention to her, surely, things would’ve been very different. Thinking about ‘if’ now is only a waste of time, though.”

The die had been cast.

The outcome was irreversible, one with no hope for a bright future.

Nevertheless, the constant stream of ‘if’ was what defined human existence.

Dexter frowned, lowering his gaze.

“Something I always wonder is if King Frederick’s rebellion had come a month sooner, then my daughter might still be alive…”

“—Even if she hadn’t died, you wouldn’t be absolved.”

Dexter’s shoulders jumped at Charlotte’s harsh words.

“In fact, you could’ve just not recommended the young lady as a concubine. You could’ve arranged it so that the previous king wouldn’t have batted an eye at her. But to the ‘you’ of that time, that wasn’t even an option. You only changed because your daughter passed away. Otherwise, you would’ve just found another purpose for her and used her until the day she died.”

If not for that harrowing incident, he would most likely remain the same. At least, that was how it seemed to Charlotte.

“It’s not up to you to decide how you make amends. As the victim is deceased, we can’t know or consider her intentions.”

No one knew the wishes of the dead. No matter how many speculations people made, they were simply delusions. As such, it was nigh impossible to appease the dead.

Still, one thing was certain.

“Unless you turn back time and start over, even if you die, you won’t be absolved. The death of a victim cannot be weighed against the death of the perpetrator. Nowhere in this world is there true atonement for long-term, mentally draining abuse nor untimely demise.”

No amount of regret and self-reflection could change the past. The dead wouldn’t return, and sins wouldn’t go away.

“You welcomed Thomas into the marquis family as a servant, and he adores you as one would a father or grandfather… But here you are, using your ‘family’ for your own purposes again.”

“!”

“—That’s not true! I was the one who asked to help! I wanted revenge on that scumbag! Lord Dexter simply made my wish come true!”

Although Thomas vehemently denied it, Dexter gradually lost his composure.

“…In the end, no matter what you do, you can’t be a good father. People like you.”

Charlotte knew her selfish father all too well. A man who was nothing but poison, who demanded and forced his own child to do what he wanted.

Hence, every word she spoke came from the heart.

“Yes… Indeed. That’s true…”

Dexter murmured hopelessly, smiling in self-deprecation. He looked so small.

“N-no, Lord Dexter…”

Thomas seemed ready to burst into tears.

“How does it taste?”

When Charlotte asked, looking down at Dexter’s tea, Dexter looked at her with amazement, then his expression softened.

“A small dose is enough, so it doesn’t affect the flavor.”

“I see.”

There was something about Dexter’s smile that made him seem almost dazzling, as if a weight had been lifted from his heart.

---

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***T/N: There goes Dexter. Rest in Pieces.

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