Translation You Must not Die

17: Still No Answer

After we returned from the inspection, the princess secluded herself up in the guest room that had been prepared and refused to eat. She must’ve been reeling from what she saw earlier.

For those who weren’t used to it, the stench of a relief center must be difficult to stomach. At worst, it’d take 3 days before her appetite returned.

Thus, only the crown prince, my aunt, Eric, and I had dinner.

Afterwards, everyone went back to their rooms without further delay. Given that the inspection would start early tomorrow morning, I needed to rest. Yet, for some reason, I couldn’t sleep, so I took a stroll through the garden.

After being struck by the cold reality of the relief center, what will the princess do?

Would she blame Elda? After all, she might conclude that happened because of the war with Elda.

…Or, would she reach a different conclusion?

“Father, Mother, Alice, Captain… I’m a shallow and wicked person. I’m trying to find meaning in your deaths through the existence of the princess even though I know it’s pointless.”

Because even if I did, the dead would never return, nor would it undo the fact that they had perished.

Yet, your deaths have meaning.

Perhaps, I insisted to think in such a way because I wanted absolution.

“How unsightly.”

Why did you have to die?

Why did I have to kill others?

If only there hadn’t been a war—if only Paides hadn’t been greedy, my daily life would’ve continued even to now, one where I had a limitless future.

I could’ve continued to live in a kind world, one where tomorrow was guaranteed to come.

But suddenly, unexpectedly, that world came to an end.

“If only I had died.”

Once, I had tried to wring my neck. Other times, I pressed a blade against my throat. I always stopped myself.

Every time, the faces of my dead comrades resurfaced along with those whom I had killed and those I couldn’t save—

—They wouldn’t forgive me if I chose the easy way out.

I mustn’t die.

I had to live, live and atone for the sin of murder.

“…Iris.”

As I gazed at the moon, I suddenly heard an unusually meek voice. When I turned around, I saw the princess in her pajamas. I wanted to rebuke her for not bringing an escort but decided against it.

Overwhelmed by today’s events, she probably asked to be left alone.

“You can’t sleep either?”

“That’s right.”

“I see. We’re the same.”

As I thought…

“…Having witnessed the state of the relief center, I feel very much ashamed of myself. I realized that until now, I’ve been blind to many things. I’ve lived while thinking that was all there was to it.”

Did the princess find her own answer? I listened quietly to the princess.

“Did you allow the Elda to go through with the inspection so that I could finally see the truth?”

“It’s not like that. The war has ended, and we signed a peace treaty. Therefore, it isn’t all that strange for the other side to offer an inspection.”

“But they are from Elda!”

“Like I said, Paides started the war.”

“But isn’t it Elda’s fault for monopolizing the magic ores?”

How did you arrive to that conclusion?

“The magic ores were Elda’s to begin with.”

“But everyone needs them to live. It’s just unfair.”

Why is the princess preaching about fairness?

“There’s no such thing as fairness in this world. You’re the princess, I’m an aristocrat, and there are commoners below us. I think it’s pretty self-explanatory.”

While the social hierarchy itself denied fairness, the top always emphasized it as justice.

How laughable.

“You’re too fixated on the magic ores. Try switching it with gems, and I’m sure you’ll understand why they wouldn’t give them away for free.”

“…Jewels aren’t necessary to live.”

“While that’s true, it’s still necessary to generate income, and we all need money to live. Vying for magic ores, Paides waged a war on Elda with the intention of monopolizing them.”

“My Father doesn’t see it that way.”

The words blind trust can’t even begin to describe this. She just can’t see.

“Well, if that’s what you want to believe, then you’re free to think so. Let that be your truth.”

“But your truth isn’t necessarily the same?”

“Indeed.”

The princess seemed dissatisfied with my answer. Well, I did speak ill of her parent, after all.

Understandable. I won’t hold it against you. It’s as you said, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.”

“Thank you.”

“Iris, how was the battlefield? Everyone is curious because you seldom speak of your valor.”

“I have no valor to speak of.”

“Why? I think you’re wonderful. Despite being a noble lady, you didn’t hesitate to take up a sword and fight for your country. I’m sure it was difficult.”

I didn’t do it for the sake of my country. I just wanted to protect those I cherished. Surely, anyone would take up sword for that.

“Your Highness, I’m not so vile as to brag about murder.”

“…Murder.”

Going to the battlefield meant defeating the enemy, while defeating the enemy meant taking their lives.

Only after going to war did I realize that.

“Besides, it isn’t as amazing as the princess thinks it is. I just recklessly ran away from the enemy. I only survived because my comrades protected me.”

Aah, the moon is already so high.

“Your Highness, please rest. Tomorrow, we have to wake up early.”

“…I understand.”

“I’ll see you back to your room.”

I didn’t think she had reached an answer. If so, I’d continue to watch over her.


***T/N: The princess went from 0 to -100 REAL quick!!!

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