19: The Saint’s Regret ~POV: Lula~
I didn’t expect to become a saint.
At the time, my father had contracted a severe illness and didn’t have long to live. Thus, I miserably clung to his hand and prayed for his recovery.
…Suddenly, a veil of light cascaded upon my father, and before I knew it, he made a full recovery.
Then, the rest was history.
Hailed as the ‘Saint’, I received an invitation to the royal palace. That was my first time being invited there since that garden party. Afterwards, I was subsequently escorted to Prince Freddie’s room.
As I had never had a chance to speak with the king in my whole life, I was understandably confused. Moreover, I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. Mustering all the manners I had learned from my scary aunty, I greeted the king. In the end, I held Prince Freddie’s hand and prayed—just like I did with my father.
To my relief, the same phenomenon occurred, and Prince Freddie soon awoke. At the end of his sparkling gaze, was me.
From that day on, it was like a dream come true.
Unlike what I expected, right after annulling his engagement to Lady Daisy, Prince Freddie came to me.
Previously, I—a mere viscount’s daughter—could only cry after being bullied by higher-ranking ladies. But now, I had become the first prince’s fiancée! I could fly from my absolute happiness!
…Although, my happiness would’ve been perfect if my fiancé had been Lord Ryan. However, even after I became a saint, his cold demeanor didn’t change.
Still, His Highness Freddie is quite nice. Most importantly, he chose me—
—Which is why I’m in love with him!
Now, all that was left was for Lady Daisy to chastise me in public. After all, if a marquis’ daughter were to berate me for snatching her fiancé, everyone’d come to understand that there were more important things than just status. Contrary to my expectations, Lady Daisy didn’t seem to be annoyed, let alone lash out at me.
Well, that’s fine.
The fact that Prince Freddie chose me wouldn’t change.
As he always approve everything I did, I could do as I pleased right?
With Prince Freddie by my side, I felt at ease as I prayed for Lady Daisy.
The desperation I felt when I prayed for my father’s recovery, or for Prince Freddie to awaken—
—I had completely forgotten about it.
★☆★
“Lula, I believe that after our graduation, my father will dictate we marry and embark on a journey to aid the country, but I want you to refuse.”
One day, Prince Freddie summoned me to the royal place. Seemingly encumbered by work, he seldom attended class at the academy.
Certainly, the king had called for the saint, but the appointed time itself was a few days later. As such, I wondered if it was alright for me to hear about it from Prince Freddie instead of him? In addition…
“…Would it be possible to refuse the king’s royal decree?”
“Since you’re the saint, my father shouldn’t be able to force you!”
Is that so? Is that truly the case?
…But why should I refuse?
While thinking wasn’t exactly my strong suit, I still did my best amidst the confusion.
I was the only saint in that country. If I didn’t lend my healing power, wouldn’t many perish?
If such was the case, shouldn’t it be natural for me to embark on such a journey and help those in need?
Although the part where I’d be traveling by a horse-drawn carriage sounded tedious, I was sure that the towns and the villages would welcome me with open arms.
“Thank you for gracing us with your presence, Lady Saint.”
Merely by hearing those words, the weariness from my travels would surely subside. Besides, it wasn’t like I abused my status to degrade or torment people… Therefore, I should be able to get along with commoners just fine.
Above all, if Prince Freddie and I were to travel together after being married, wouldn’t it be akin to a long honeymoon?
“I want to travel around the country as a saint and aid the sick!”
Thus, I smiled my best smile—a saint-like one, which Prince Freddie praised as cute.
In response, Prince Freddie turned grim. His expression was unlike anything I had ever seen before.
“—But I don’t want to!”
Huh…?
“From the moment I was born, I was destined to be the crown prince!”
Eh…?
“…Lula, what do you think of Jake?”
“Why are you suddenly mentioning him…?”
“Lula, I think it’d be best for you to marry Jake.”
“What…?”
“If I get back together with Daisy, everything should return to normal.”
“Huh…?”
“Lula, can you please petition this of His Majesty the King as the saint? Tell him that you’d like to annul your engagement with me and marry Jake instead.”
What…?
What is he saying—?
No, first off, why doesn’t he do it himself—
—Could it be, he tried and it didn’t work?
Is that why he’s trying to push me to do it?
But wait, this is strange? Is he being serious right now?
Huh?
Why would I get engaged with Prince Jake?
Eh? Why?
But didn’t His Highness Freddie choose me? He got engaged with me because he CHOSE me, right?
So why is he telling me to be with Prince Jake…?
Eh…?
Why—
I stared incredulously at my fiancé, Freddie.
Unlike during our first meeting, his eyes held no light.
“Even if I’m like this, I still understand that our engagement isn’t something that can be annulled so easily.”
…After all, didn’t you make a display of annulling your engagement with Lady Daisy before subsequently announcing ours?
“Moreover, hasn’t Lady Daisy already gotten engaged with Lord Ryan?”
What I said should’ve been considered general knowledge, yet Prince Freddie’s face contorted all the same.
…I became engaged to Prince Freddie because I believed he had chosen me. However, the moment he set his eyes on the throne, he cast me aside.
It wasn’t until Prince Freddie—until my own fiancé betrayed me— that it dawned on me
—Until now, I had been blind.
Why didn’t Lord Ryan notice me…?
Why did those mean girls mistreat me so…?
Why did the friends I painstakingly made leave me…?
Why are there no decent boys around me…?
Why doesn’t a single boy choose me even after annulling their engagement…?
…The things that I trampled for my enjoyment were just as important, if not more.
The girls who got betrayed by their fiancés were still engaged, with Lady Daisy being the only one who got abandoned as a result of my direct actions.
…But, even if those girls remained engaged, the fact that they’d been betrayed would never disappear. Whether it was a one-time thing didn’t matter.
Surely, the bonds and trust that had been shattered by me were in a state of utter disrepair.
I had crossed the line.
After Prince Freddie pampered me with lavish gifts and a luxurious life, I became conceited, so much that I simply accepted the notion of making Lady Daisy his mistress.
I could never forgive that one, mean girl from my past.
However, Lady Daisy had never mistreated me—not even once.
Perhaps, Prince Freddie’s betrayal was my retribution.
I’d inevitably marry Prince Freddie. Nevertheless, after what took place today, I didn’t think I’d be able to entertain the idea of him loving me for even a second.
If only I hadn’t gotten intimate with those boys whom were already engaged…
If only I hadn’t behaved passive-aggressively towards any of those girls to provoke them…
If only I had picked someone who chose me from the start…
…That way I wouldn’t have settled with Prince Freddie for the sole reason of him canceling his engagement for me.
I despaired at the reality that I’d be living for the rest of my life alongside Prince Freddie.
***T/N: W-what…!? A thot that actually repents…!? Did I hallucinate from too much anger!?
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Unlike the previous chapters, this one was riddled with spelling mistakes (“clung” for “clang”, “;” for “,”, “daisy” for “Daisy”, “listen about it” for “hear about it”, “casted” for “cast”, “I’d” for “I’ll”, “whom” for “who”, “behave” for “behaved”, etc; also missed a comma in “I believe that, after our graduation, my father will”, and I believe you meant “if I were to marry Prince Freddie and then go on a journey together” instead of “if I were married with Prince Freddie and then we traveled together”). Could it be that you forgot to revise the translation this time? Most previous chapters didn’t have even a single mistake (and even the ones that did usually only had one), so the contrast is so shocking I almost thought it was by a different translator until I saw your customary comment at the end of the chapter.
thank you for bringing this to our attention. Was this the only one, or are the following chapters the same?? This one may have slipped past the editor…
My apologies, those mistakes were originally made by mine!! I really can’t live without my editor after all!! This is proof that she does god’s work, guys
Have I just read character development? Wow, that was good author. I like this, she is not just a caricature of a villain. Thanks for tl 🙂
Oh, okey so she’s a legit saint.
But anyway I don’t feel sorry for her. She got the dose of her own medicine
She should just cancel the engagement and go on that tour without him bye bitch
Thank for the chapter ^^
Oh my…this is unexpected, looks like I really have a soft spot for this kind of “heroine” ^^;
She should take the initiative and petition to annul the engagement to the idiot prince and tour the country on her own.
Wow yanno what, color me surprised at Lula. I’ll accept the author actually pulled a meaningful fast one.
I don’t feel sorry for her but I think this was a good redemption and expansion of her character, and it hit me twice. I really thought she’d also selfishly reject the tour around the country but she not only had the general mildly selfish but acceptable “they’ll love me” but also the pointed “if I don’t, many people may die”. Like yea, thank you for giving a shit. I can see both how she DID become a saintess but also acted bad, but can do better.
Her also realizing “oh…oh this hurts – and I have selfishly hurt other people this way” was actually so good. Like yes, yes you did and you understand it now and hopefully you can become a better person even if you don’t get a happy marriage. Seeing someone worse than she was being had an effect and I think that really improves this story a lot for me.
Thanks for the chapter!
Thanks for the chapter. Yeah, I now actually feel sorry for her now. Weird.