Now that I’m Dead, are you Satisfied? Translation

37. Day 0 (1)

“Lorona Ruth, I thereby annul my engagement with you.”

When Lorona heard those words, a certainty welled up inside her—

—As I thought…

Surprisingly, she wasn’t the slightest bit angry. Instead, she was relieved. She felt that she was finally freed.

As Velbutte looked down on her from the stage with a haughty expression, his eyes were twisted with affection and hatred. Although Lumina, who stood beside him, was supposed to be crying, a trace of a smile could be seen lingering on her cheeks.

I envy them.

Lorona stared at them, wondering how could they were able to express their feelings so honestly.

The two, who stood together, seemed very alive.

They could do what Lorona couldn’t. When she tried to laugh, instead of a cute expression, it was as if her face was twitching.

She lived to that day being praised for being as beautiful as a doll. She wasn’t happy at all—but of course, she couldn’t tell anyone that.

On the stage, Velbutte desperately rejected Lorona.

She could see why he’d want to denounce hr.

Still, to do that in front of so many…

Lorona desperately resisted the urge to sigh.

Velbutte, did you know?

There were various restrictions placed on the engagements between aristocrats. The engagement that was approved by the House of Lords and the temple couldn’t be canceled with just one sentence. That was because they had signed a contract.

However, if she were to simply explain to Velbutte that they should resolve the matter with mutual understanding and respect, he’d laugh in her face. He’d act as if there was something wrong with Lorona in public.

It’s useless to argue, I’m sure.

To keep her family afloat, Lorona had to start a business with a commoner. She was confused as to why someone would point at her and accuse her of depravity for it.

She scolded Lumina because she wanted her little sister to grow up into a fine lady. Lorona wanted Lumina to have a happy marriage with an amiable relationship.

At the same time, she also didn’t want to impose the title of the countess upon Lumina. Hence, Lorona intended to succeed the family in her stead.

…I’m already tired.

Until that day, she had lived while desperately gritting her teeth so as to not be an embarrassment to the count family and to not fail as the future princess.

That was the only thing she could do for herself. Unable to attain the love of her surroundings, the least she could do was maintain her pride as an aristocrat and hold her head high.

Yet, in the end, she was trampled on.

She thought that she should get angry. It was probably within her right to complain about the outrageousness, to stand up and prove her innocence—

—I wonder if I’m a defective product.

With a mysterious sense of calm, Lorona turned her back on Velbutte.

She was tired enough. She didn’t want to hurt her head by thinking about how to get rid of that turmoil.

She felt depleted.

“Is that all? Then I’ll leave the procedure for cancelling the engagement to you.”

She just didn’t want to be there. Lorona turned her heels on the two people who continued watching her.

She didn’t want to get involved with them anymore.

That was Lorona’s true intention.

“…Please help me get into the carriage.”

“What’s wrong, Milady? It’s still in the middle of the ceremony…”

Chille was surprised by Lorona’s sudden return. The maid seemed to have been spending her time waiting inside the carriage.

Lorona frowned at Chille’s curious nature.

“My role is over. I don’t have to be here anymore.”

“Yes, but the crown prince is graduating, right? Since Milady is his fiancée, it’s only right for you to stay by his side until the end—”

“—I said it’s fine!”

“!!”

Chille was surprised.

Even Lorona was in disbelief over the piercing words that came out of her mouth.

“…I’m tired, please be quiet.”

Okaaay…”

Chille averted her gaze and replied in a lackluster manner as if to avoid Lorona’s anger.

She wanted to complain about her servant’s attitude, but even that felt like a waste of time.

My head hurts…

As per Velbutte’s words, her engagement had been annulled.

She had never screamed at anyone before. However, at the moment, she was at her limit.

Everything happened all at once, making her body felt heavy.

“Then, are we returning to the mansion?”

“…No, let’s head to Stein Village.”

“What?!”

“I promised to visit that village today.”

“Is it that nursing home again…?”

Lorona sharply stared at Chille’s disgusted face. Immediately, the maid gasped.

“If you don’t like the idea, then you may return to the mansion.”

Cold words that she’d never speak under normal circumstances spilled from her mouth.

Lorona desperately tried to hold it back, but she couldn’t.

While biting her lips, Chille shrugged her shoulders.

Perhaps, being scolded by Lorona, who up until that point never rebuked her for anything was shocking. Chille’s complexion was terribly blue.

“Tell the coachman to go to the nursing home in the Stein Village. I shall be resting in the carriage. When we get there, ask him to wake me. As for the rest, you may do as you like.”

“…”

Chille silently bowed her head and approached the coachman.

Afterwards, Lorona boarded the carriage on her own and laid her heavy body on the seat.

She felt like resting.

I was terrible to Chille… as it is, I’m just like those two.

Although Chille’s attitude was troublesome, Lorona shouldn’t have taken such an attitude towards her.

While being assaulted by self-loathing, Lorona closed her eyes.

“—You’re a very kind person. I can understand that much.”

The moment she descended into a dream, a gentle voice mended her heart.

Despite being about to fall into a nightmare, Lorona felt it was the only happy memory she had.


***T/N: …And here I was in denial the whole time. I keep seeing Chille as her sassy, bold, tomboy girl friend that Lorona can be herself with. It seems like unlike in the other LNs, not even her personal maid understands her…

Please also consider donating to my ko-fi! It’ll greatly support me in action, no matter the amount!
https://ko-fi.com/antoinettevanessa

<Previous chapter

Next chapter>