Now that I’m Dead, are you Satisfied? Translation

34. [Day 4 (6)]

It hurts…! It’s painful…! It’s cold…! It’s lonely…!

In a pitch-black room, Lumina laid alone in bed. The entire time, only ridiculous emotions occupied her heart.

That day, despite having managed to crawl out of the carriage that had fallen, she couldn’t stand up due to the pain that ran through her entire body.

If some passersby hadn’t helped her, she would’ve collapsed on the spot.

The horse seemed to have fled. Suffering more injuries than Lumina, the coachman was sprawled on the road.

Whether or not she’d survive, she was too scared to ask.

“…There are a lot of carriage accidents these days.”

“Indeed. How many times has it been this month? Recently, the number of stray dogs and cats have increased. The horses hate them. If we aren’t careful, we’ll get caught one such accident as well…”

“That’s horrible…”

While listening to the senseless conversation of the passersby in the distance, Lumina spotted her fallen carriage.

It was in shamble. The windows had been shattered into pieces.

“I’m glad that you’re safe, young lady.”

Someone beckoned to Lumina.

She wanted to unleash her anger on the person—

What are you so happy about?!

However, she was in too much pain to even speak.

“You’re fortunate to have survived the accident. You see, the other day, a young lady perished in a carriage accident. She was so young, too. I feel sorry for her…”

That was her sister they were referring to. Realizing that, the anger swirling within her diminished.

Did my sister die after suffering through such a tremendous amount of pain?

Recalling Lorona’s death, Lumina’s hands immediately went to her face.

After feeling the warm, slimy, sensation of blood, she immediately shouted.


She didn’t want to die. She didn’t want to suffer through that pain.

Upset, Lumina began to cry. Her surroundings advised her to rest to no avail. In the end, she kept crying out until she fainted.

The next time she woke up, she was sleeping in her room. She was informed of her serious injuries.

Even though the doctor had reassured that her life wasn’t in danger, it did nothing to assuage Lumina’s restlessness.

I don’t want to die. I don’t want to be ugly, either…

Imagining that her face would end up crushed like Lorona’s, she just wanted to die.

Velbutte, whom she had long been waiting for, rushed to return home after his brief visit. For some reason, there was no sign of her parents, either.

Occasionally, servants would help her drink water and apply medicine as if they were dealing with a menace. However, they refused to answer any of her questions.

She didn’t know if it was day or night. Whenever she woke up, she could only see through one eye. Not to mention, an intense feeling of pain kept pervading her senses. As such, she only woke up to faint over and over.

“…It hurts, it hurts…”

She wailed like a little kid, but no one rushed to her side.

“—I’ll be by your side.”

“…Older, sister?”

—It was a memory from when she was young.

When Lumina had a high fever, Lorona stayed by her side and held her hand. That memory was conjured vividly.

Not even Lumina’s own mother, Belverassa, dared to approach the sick Lumina. Only Lorona was brave enough to hold her hand. Sheeven stroked her forehead with her petite hand.

At that time, Lumina cherished the beautiful Lorona. To her, she was a dependable, beautiful, and kind older sister.

But before she knew it, she was consumed by jealousy.

“Please… forgive me!!”

The bandages on her face became visibly wet due to her overflowing tears.

As a sister, Lorona was never terrible to her. She was strict on both herself and Lumina, but she was an otherwise beautiful and kind individual.

The one who perished in such a painful accident shouldn’t have been the beautiful and kind Lorona.

Lorona shouldn’t have been deprived of her fiancé due to someone else’s obsession.

“Older sister… I’m sorry…”

Lumina kept muttering in a fleeting voice without receiving a single reply.

It was already too late. The dead wouldn’t come back. Both her injuries and her loss were irreparable.

Despite being aware of that, Lumina kept apologizing.

***T/N: *Plays the world’s smallest violin for Lumina*

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