Now that I’m Dead, are you Satisfied? Translation

27. [Day 3 (6)]

The two spent a lot of time together as ‘Ash’ and ‘Lorna’ in the flower garden.

Lorona seemed to be fond of the flower garden. She had especially expressed her fondness over the garden over and over.

Before he realized it, Astel had also fallen in love with the place.

Astel went out to the flower garden everyday in anticipation of meeting Lorona.

Even on the days when Lorona didn’t come, time passed in the blink of an eye merely by thinking about what to talk about next time.

It was as if the days he had secluded himself were nothing more than a lie.

As of the present, he couldn’t wait for tomorrow to come.

“Ash, you’re truly a great person. You must’ve come from a wonderful family.”

One day, Lorona suddenly muttered that in the middle of their conversation. She stared at Astel with gleaming, violet, eyes.

“…That’s right. My family was indeed wonderful.”


“My entire family is dead. I no longer have anyone I can call a family.”

“…The same goes for me.”

“Lorna, too?”

Astel’s eyes widened in shock.

Lorona was a daughter of a well-known family with a long history within the kingdom. Her parents—the count and his wife—should had still been alive and well.

“They are alive. But neither my father nor mother are interested in me. We don’t even eat together.”

“…I see. That must be lonely.”

“But I’m used to it. After all, that’s how it has been since the very beginning.”


“Ever since the day I was born, everything has been decided for me. I don’t have any say about myself.”

“…Don’t have any?”

“Yes, which is why I have to at least protect what I want to protect. …But, I may have gotten a bit tired.”

As Lorona laughed as if she had given up on something, her back seemed somewhat lonely. Without realizing it, Astel gently caressed her back. After he had caressed her delicate and thin back, Lorona’s cheeks appeared slightly reddish.

The change on her expression was adorable. It entwined Astel, causing heat to rush to his face as well.

“…Pardon me.”

“It’s alright. That was my first time ever having someone stroke my back.”

Lorona laughed with humor. Towards that sight, Astel’s heart almost burst.

He realized that he was truly infatuated with Lorona, it was to the point he couldn’t deceive himself any longer.

“Thank you, Ash. I truly enjoyed talking to you.”

“The same goes for me, Lorna. You said that I’m kind, but I also know that the same applies to you.”

“…Is that so?”

“Yes! Hey, Lorna, can we meet again tomorrow?”


At that time, Lorona’s expression changed for the first time. Her eyes were damp. She bit her lips, as if trying to suppress her tears.

For the first time, Lorona, who was always subtle with her expression, wore her heart on her face. Astel was rendered speechless.

“Ash, it’s time for me to return home.”


To escape, Lorona stood up and ran towards her maid. Her back was turned towards Astel.

One of her maids stood in front of Astel when he tried to chase after her. The maid also appeared to be sad.

“Thank you for conversing with the young lady. But she won’t be seeing you anymore, so please forget about her.”

After saying that, the maid gave Astel a gold coin.

For commoners, it was a hefty sum.

However, in Astel’s hand, the coin felt heavy and cold.

Lorona and her maids left the flower garden, leaving Astel standing in place and unable to ask why.

On that day, Lorona never looked back.

Since then, she never appeared in the flower garden again.

Upon returning to the mansion, Astel confessed to Kaiser of his meeting with Lorona. He proceeded to order Kaiser to investigate what had happened.

Lorona was staying in the mansion owned by her late mother. It was Lorona’s personal property. For her, that place was brimming with memories.

However, upon learning of the train wreck which was her family, she seemed to have decided to let go of her own villa. It had been done to protect the count’s family. That day was her last time staying in that villa and also her last memory with it.

After she had found a buyer, Lorona was said to have returned to the royal capital with only the bare minimum amount of luggage.

Astel perplexedly stared at the gold coin within his hand.

Learning that Lorona, who was supposed to be a happy princess, had to part with her precious mansion was shocking.

“…Isn’t she happy?”

Although she was beautiful and mature, Lorona was but a young girl.

However, she had to let go of her mother’s memories. How much determination did she have? How much anguish did she feel?


While clenching the gold coin, Astel gnashed his teeth.

He was embarrassed by the fact that he wasn’t as prepared or as prideful as Lorona.

Due to the lose of his family, he had secluded himself. As of the present, that fact only emphasized how small he was.

He didn’t want to shame his strong female friend.

Thanks to Lorona, Astel was finally able to regain awareness to his own nobility.

Then, Astel’s body grew rapidly.

Astel was desperate to learn everything to make up for the days he had withdrawn himself.

He’d surely return to his homeland. He’d gain the power to protect both his position and his life. Then, he’d return to see his queen—Lorona.

Astel always sought to be a person who could talk to her on an equal footing. He had accepted that his love might never come to fruition.

—As of the present, that Lorona was dead.

He couldn’t convey his feelings or thank her for having saved him any longer.


He knew how selfish his love was.

He was aware that if he were to confess to her, she’d find it creepy.

Yet, she was a woman he couldn’t help but fall in love with.

During his stay in her kingdom, which lasted for a few years, Astel wanted to learn more about Lorona.

Is she doing well? Is she happy?

When he heard that she had started a business due to the count family’s financial state, he was unable to stand it and approached her company as a customer.

Unable to reveal his identity, he wore a wig, put on a mask, and gave himself a pseudonym. The entire time, he remained a mere merchant.

It unexpectedly benefited Astel for he was able to meet Lorona.

The feeling that Lorona was his goddess only amplified.

Although he couldn’t have a worthwhile conversation with Lorona, who wasn’t ostensibly involved in the company, Astel could still do his best due to the fact that Lorona was alive and well.

“Just a little more… just a little bit more.”

Gradually, the groundwork for returning to the empire was being set.

Ahead of that, he procured information that the relationship between Lorona and Velbutte was breaking apart.

Astel still recalled his joy after finding out such was the case.

If so, I can get Lorona!

He had vowed such, but he failed.

Had he chased Lorona at that time and confessed to her on spot, none of that would’ve happened.

As he bit his lips, blood started to ooze. He cursed his helplessness.

“Lorona, I’ll do everything in my power to ensure that you rest in peace, therefore—…”

***T/N: It’s a competition that Velbutte has lost since they were childhood, I see.

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