The Fake Saint’s Evolution Into a Genuine One Translation

9. The Fake Saint’s Evolution into a Genuine One

“Our next task is touring, isn’t it, Priest?”

“Yes, all you have to do is say hello to the people you meet and walk. Because of your talent, if you’re asked for healing, you may respond. It’s a pilgrimage to announce the existence of the saint, after all. As such, you have to maintain a friendly image. I will show you the way.”

I had to change into clothing easier for walking. Since I couldn’t reach the button, I had no choice but to ask the priest. Thus, I had to endure the same humiliation once again.

When I went outside, the knight captain stood there while grinning alongside his men. I was supposed to walk around the village with them as my escorts. No one seemed to have been expecting a visit from the saint. All the villagers I met in passing were elders.

…Even if I were to proclaim myself as the Goddess’ ambassador, it was of no use since all of them were hard of hearing.

Because of how annoying it became, I opted to just responding to those who needed my help—as in, those with backaches, knee-aches, toothaches, etc…

With my healing power, I managed to alleviate everyone’s pain. Thus, the people thanked me. They rewarded me with beans and dried potatoes they were carrying within their pockets.

While munching on them, I wandered around the area again. Whenever someone asked for my help, I’d heal them. Rinse and repeat.

…I thought about how much of a good job I was doing. As I approached the center of the village, I saw a place that looked like a meeting spot.

While wondering if anyone would be there, I saw some of the villagers staring at me with terrifying expressions.

I wanted to greet them, and at the same time, I wanted to be safe. Their faces were scary, after all…

When I gradually approached and took a closer look, they also had eggs!

What was with that village?

Did they have an egg-throwing festival?

Before I could say anything, the children from before fiercely dashed towards the villagers.

“No! Eggs are no good! The saint will get angry because we’re wasting food!”

“Hide the eggs! Hide them right now! Or you will be killed!”

N-no, I wouldn’t go that far?

However, it seemed that my preaching had properly reached them. The boys finally understood not to play with food. However, the men seemed frustrated. They didn’t like what the boys were saying at all.

“…As I thought, the children have been brainwashed. This isn’t good.”

“They must’ve coaxed the children with expensive sweets. It’s the church’s doing! Hey, Saint! Our village doesn’t believe in the Goddess’ religion!”

“Who’d believe in a religion that’s forced unto them!? You’re just trying to brainwash us!!”

With those words, the men started to raise their hands and get ready to throw the eggs.

Oh my God!! They are going to waste precious eggs again!! Those precious eggs will become garbage!!

I raised my voice to stop them.

“Stop! I won’t allow you to waste food! If you want to throw something at me that much, then you can just use mud! Why waste such good eggs!”

Good! Wasn’t my preaching saint-like!? I was being so cool!

“Huh? Then… if it’s mud, I can throw them at the saint? Are you trying to appeal to us? You trying to look humble or something? You’re just full of ulterior motives, what utter garbage!”

“No, I’m not saying that I’m willing to suffer. Hey, don’t you know the saying, ‘Only those who’re prepared to be hit with mudballs are allowed to throw mudballs.’? If you throw one at me, it means that you’re prepared to suffer the same fate!—

—then, let us throw mudballs at each other! That way, we’re throwing mud together, right? How about that?! How many of you will there be in your group!?”

 “…??? …Hey, what are you talking about??? What about your image??? Is it alright for the saint to throw mudballs…??? Also, what is this group you’re talking about…???”

“Like I said, let’s throw mudballs at each other until everything is settled! Well then, as punishment for ruining eggs, those two boys are going to be on my side. Are you prepared to throw mudballs with your damnedest!?—

—the knight captain also said that he wanted to apologize to me. Therefore, my group shall consist of these three! You guys are free to group up with whoever you like! After all, despite our small number, we’re a group of elites! The priest shall be the referee! Come here! Draw a line! I shall take this side!”

“I don’t mind being a referee, but are there any rules for mudballs throwing in the first place? What are the criteria for winning or losing?”

“The side still standing in the end will be the victor! The priest should make a detailed judgment based on the rule book! Listen well! First and foremost, victory and defeat is decided by how many rounds (mudballs) can be prepared! So, move immediately! Secure mud and start molding! The match has already begun! At this rate, you will lose to us in seconds!”

“Eh…!? Eeeeh…!? We’re going to lose!? Oi, we’re going, too!!”

Thus, the mudballs throwing competition that knew no mercy started.


***T/N: Our saint got chaotic aura indeed…

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