My Friend’s Search History is Strange
My friend’s search history is a bit strange.
It happened when I went to Hashimoto’s dorm, where he lived alone. We attended the same university. Suddenly, Hashimoto called out to me.
“Something’s come up. I’ll be back after a little bit.”
He disappeared after having said that.
I loitered around his room. Then, my eyes stopped at his desktop PC.
What does he usually look up on the internet?
I was curious, so I decided to look at his search history from the oldest one. I did feel a little guilty.
“Hiking shoes Cospa is the best.”
If I wasn’t mistaken, Hashimoto indeed belonged to the hiking club. About half a year ago, he said so to me—
“—I have to buy new shoes because there’s a hole in my old ones.”
Didn’t he complain about that to me?
I see… his oldest search history is from half a year ago.
“How to fix with a smartphone that was submerged in water.”
Ahh, there it is.
Hashimoto used to jump into the university pond for fun. Then one day he submerged his phone in the water…
Speaking of Takahashi Mozu, wasn’t she a recently booming gravure idol?
“Takahashi Mozu’s nipple.”
Ahh, what a healthy guy.
I didn’t think any sleazy pics would come up, thought. She was a gravure idol, after all.
“Nipple depictions in novel.”
…Just read the erotic novel entirely.
“Nipples in general anime.”
…Until a few seconds ago, didn’t his history become filled with nipples?
“Nipple Man Anime.”
…Looks like I finished with the nipple squad. So, he likes cows.
“Cute calf image.”
Indeed, that calf is definitely cute.
“Delicious beef tongue restaurants in Tokyo.”
Now you’re just complicating things!!!
…I wondered if the calf image reminded him of beef tongue.
“Recipes for cooking pork.”
Before I realized it, the search history had reached June. At that time, he said, “I’ve started cooking.”
You’re beyond help!
“How to throw a forkball in baseball.”
Speaking of which, he was called to join in a baseball. He said—
“—I’ll be a pitcher.”
He seemed to be having fun.
“Osteo clinic in Tokyo.”
…Did he dislocate a bone?
“Yoga in Tokyo.”
Hmm? Did he learn yoga?
…His true intention is wide open.
“Osteo clinic in Tokyo.”
…Did he dislocate another bone!?
“Aomori drive spot.”
That was after the beginning of July. At that time, Hashimoto said, “I bought a used mini car with the salary I’ve saved from my part-time job.”
He was so happy at that time.
What happened in Aomori!?!?
“The meaning of life.”
Wow, he’s completely sick.
“The significance of dying.”
…Is it that bad? He’s even worried about dying…
“What does it mean when a girl says, ‘your dick looks like broccoli.’”
…Yeah, he seems to be fine.
“Coping method after a shark encounter.”
Around that time, he went to the beach with friends. Did he encounter a shark?
“What to do if you get swallowed by a shark.”
“Filling for assault charges after escape.”
He’s trying to sue a shark!?!?
“Color of Takashi Yamada’s nipple.”
That’s my name right there.
What is this dude searching?
I was suddenly intrigued and tried to look up the same thing, as well.
‘Approximately 138,000,000 hits (0.58 seconds)’
There are so many!?!? Am I searched worldwide!?!?
“How to kill mosquitoes.”
Uwa, that carries some murderous intent…
At this point, you’re just obsessed with nipples!
“Lump in strawberry looks like nipple.”
Is he a kid?!
“Town with nipples in Tokyo.”
Nowhere!! What’s with these last few searches!?
He’s trying to draw out his supernatural abilities!?
…He’s such a nipple monster.
Don’t be so obsessed, dude.
What happened, suddenly!?
Okay, it started again.
What are you looking for!?!?
Moreover, if it’s sumo, the nipples will be out all the time!!
They’re wearing loincloths—! Loincloths—! Not skirts—!
“Sumo funchira (fundoshi flash).”
Don’t look that up!
“Chincira.” (Chin refers to male genitalia)
Now this is getting dangerous!!!
“People at the end of the Edo period.”
I, it’s over, finally…
That search was from last week. It was a search regarding the issues related to the late Tokugawa shogunate.
“Saigo Takamori’s nipples.”
“Saigo Takamori in swimsuit.”
What do you intent to do?!
“Saigo Takamori’s lactating nipples.”
You’re a maniac!!!
Don’t abbreviate it!!!
Afterwards, I decided to keep a certain distance from Hashimoto.
***T/N: He might be googling waifu version of SaiTaka! I’m really liking this author, so expect more short stories from him in the future!
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