67. My Feelings
The holy water-making was a great success, and for the first time in a while, I was relaxing in my room.
āIāve been busy lately…ā
I sat on the bed and reminisced.
Looking back, these past few days were tumultuous.
Not only had I helped the spirit king, I also made holy water. In addition, I regularly went to the spirit village to let them enjoy my cooking.
By the way… ever since then, I had served various dishes to the spirits.
Everything seemed to satisfy the tongues of the spirits. Philip even said, āIām really glad I met you.ā
I wasnāt doing that so that theyād be indebted to me, but because I wanted to be of help. Of course, I was glad to be praised.
Our friendship with the spirits, which was full of questions at first, proceeded very smoothly because of that.
It seemed that the potions and the holy water I made were still in high demand. Even so, Robert and Nigel were controlling the situation.
When people made mistakes, they were likely to come for potions and holy water.
If handled poorly, the demand for water, a ingredient, would inevitably increase. It could even result in the spirits of peaceful that village getting disturbed.
Of course, neither Nigel nor I wanted such an outcome.
Despite the minor mess, I had a fulfilling day.
But what was it…?
Inside my heart, there was some kind of uncertainty…
It was as if there was a gap somewhere in my heart…
I felt like I had forgotten something important.
āItās strange. There shouldnāt have been any problems…ā
I muttered to myself.
Ton, ton.
The sound of knocking on the door.
āItās me, Nigel. Eliane, can you give me a moment?ā
āNigel? Alright, please come in.ā
I invited him into my room.
āExcuse me.ā
Nigel was as cool as usual.
āWhatās wrong, Nigel? How unusual of you.ā
āNo, itās just… we havenāt had a proper conversation lately. I want to converse with you, are you alright with that?ā
āOf course.ā
Nigel sat across of me.
When I was about to prepare teaā
āāI canāt let Eliane do that.ā
Nigel attempted to stop me.
However.
āDonāt worry. Iām doing it because I want to.ā
āBut, still…ā
āThat should be my line. I canāt have something as ridiculous as making His Highness prepare tea.ā
…Or, was someone like His highness familiar with preparing black tea?
While having a small talk, I prepared tea for two.
The smell of herbs tickled the bridge of my nose.
Nigel sipped his cup of tea.
āItās delicious. No matter what you make, Eliane, itās always top notch.ā
āThatās not true. Isnāt the tea prepared by Abby better?ā
In fact, Iāve had a few mini tea parties with Abby. The tea she made was truly exceptional.
During those times, I was taught how to prepare tea. The rest was history.
āHow do I say this? Abbyās tea is indeed exquisite, but so is Elianeās.ā
Nigel gracefully sipped his tea.
Everything he did was as graceful as a scene from a play.
…Huh!?
Maybe… no, not maybeā
āI was currently alone with Nigel!?
What was more, even though we werenāt marriedāeven though I was merely his fiancĆ©eāI invited a man into the room…
…wouldnāt he think I was a terrible woman!?
āWhatās wrong, Eliane? Look at me.ā
āN, nothing…ā
To calm myself, I also took a sip of my tea.
Fortunately, the scent of herbs calmed my mind.
For a while after that, we discussed about adding flowers to the tea.
āElaine, you seem to be very busy lately, arenāt you exhausted? When I look at Eliane these days, I feel kind of worried…ā
By looking at him, I knew that was the main subject.
But why?
āI, itās alright. Iām enjoying myself every day.ā
I behaved cheerfully so as to not worry Nigel.
I was sure he was worried about me whom had been busy lately.
I was allowed to live in such a magnificent royal castle, and I was allowed to do as I pleased.
I had no complaints.
I didnāt want to worry Nigel.
I focused on that feeling.
āI see. Thatās fine, then.ā
Nigelās smile was akin to a flower.
āLately, we havenāt been talking. I was worried about your physical condition, but I wondered if youād find such feelings unwelcome.ā
ā…!ā
He must be joking.
I didnāt think Nigel actually intended to say that either.
He must had spoken without thinking.
To me, it sounded like he was saying, āweāre engaged, but arenāt you neglecting me too much?ā
Hence why,
āIām sorry… perhaps, I donāt really understand Nigelās feelings.ā
āEliane?ā
āFrom now on, I shall behave more like a fiancĆ©e…!ā
Before I realized it, words were coming out of my mouth one after another.
Otherwise, Iād have been torn apart by my emotions.
At the same time, it was as if I was making an excuse.
āEliane.ā
Nigel called my name once again.
The next moment.
As he gently stroked my head, Nigel pulled me into an embrace.
āIām sorry for making you anxious. Thatās not what I meant. I love Eliane. I just want to talk more with you.ā
āNigel…ā
Mysteriously, my heart gradually calmed down as a result of Nigelās action.
He didnāt have the peculiar, sweaty, smell of a man.
Instead, it was as if I was in a garden of roses.
āIām sorry for behaving a little too aggressive. Itās late. Iāll return to my own room soon.ā
Thus, Nigel stood up.
āY, yes! Thank you for today! Iām glad I was able to have a proper conversation with you for the first time in a while!ā
āThat should be my line. The tea you prepared was delicious. When we have time, letās have another tea party.ā After saying so, Nigel left.
The moment he left the room, the tension and exhaustion I had been suppressing so far began to weight down on my shoulders.
I rested my body on the back of the chair.
ā…Just then, what happened to me…?ā
Thinking that I was disliked by Nigel, I suddenly lost control of my emotions.
I loved Nigel. I had no complaints about him.
It was still difficult for me to believe that we were engaged.
But on the contrary, that was precisely the problem.
Nigel was perfect.
Moreover, he was the first prince of that kingdom.
Eventually, Iād be required to stand next to Nigel and behave like a proper queen.
āWell, of course, if itās Nigel, he would shrug it off…ā
Despite that, no matter what he thought, until I actually became a queen, there was no way he could say that.
Everything was different from when I was with Prince Claude.
It was a one-sided engagement. The only reason I was betrothed to him was because I was the saint. Such was the tradition. Despite so, not once had he recognized me as the future queen.
I tried to love him, but failed.
ā…Everything is going so well for me right now, itās honestly becoming scary…ā
I muttered alone.
Unconsciously, I may have avoided Nigel because I just couldnāt see myself being his fiancĆ©e.
Hence why, I busied myself.
Today, by talking with Nigel, I had become aware of those feelings.
āWhat would others do at a time like this… letās talk to Abby…ā
During such cases, it seemed that Abby, whom was of the same gender, would make for a better conversation partner than Douglas, a male (?)
Even if I talked to Douglas, his response would most likely be, āWhy do humans torment themselves over useless crap?ā
āItās alright. Surely, time will fix everything… I believe so.ā
I said to myself.
Letās call it a day.
By retiring to my bed, a fresh batch of ideas might come to me.
However, Nigelās words swirled in my head and kept me awake.
***T/N: Nope, still not getting that sense of chemistry between Nigel and Eliane. At best, their conversation felt formal.
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Eliane, only the strongest Saint ever, has been totally gaslit by that trash claude into thinking she’s worthless. It comes off as naivity/stupidity, but if you’ve been told that crap since young you’ll start to believe it. I think that’s why she feels unworthy of Nigel.
What did she mean by tiring days when everything like, I just pour some here, put some there, bam, the greatest potion is here.
She feels awkward being alone with her fiancee but not with Douglas?
Must be mental exhaustion.
Because she’s not romantically attached to Douglas, nor Douglas her. Douglas is like her big brother.
Thanks for the chapter…
Chapter 67..? Is it a typo or did we miss a few chapter?
Whoops! I haven’t posted ch. 66 yet. However, ch. 66 has no relation to this chapter because it’s about Claude. It should follow soon.
Thanks for the series, but I think the previous chapter is still chapter 62
[different form when I was] -> {different from when I was}
Maybe the author forgot to add some events where Eliane and Nigel could get closer to each other. Either way, I think something interesting will happen soon, since the cursing fake saint and the dumb prince (former) aren’t dead yet.
Thanks for the chapter! Awesome translation! God bless you!
So, well, I hope Eliane can make a bit more tea, for a certain someone that might have spilled it when reading my comment on a previous chapter š