16. With Doubts and Truths
Philip, upon entering the room, called out from a great distance.
“I’m sorry to have kept you waiting. Let’s go home. I shall escort you.”
I said goodbye to Jamie and went towards him. But Philip, whom was near the door, quickly left the room without waiting for me.
He came all the way to that room, so I thought he was going to accompany me to the carriage, but the distance between us was gradually increasing. At the end of the long corridor, he was about the size of a bean. However, he seemed to look back at me many times. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.
I wondered if he was still angry. But by the time we arrived at the carriage, he escorted me. We boarded the carriage together.
Again, silence ensued. I wasn’t sure why, but if he was so angry he didn’t want to talk to me, why wait for me and escort me home?
When I was thinking about that, the word, ‘…te.’ suddenly leaked from Philip’s mouth.
When I asked him back, Philip raised his face. Anxiety was spread deep across his beautiful eyes.
“Do you, hate…?”
His expression was as if the world was going to end.
I was sick of his unexpected questions.
“I, towards Phil?”
Why would he ask such a thing with such a face?
“…I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to say or do that. I made a terrible mistake.”
Certainly, it was as he said. Philip indeed had made a lot of mistakes. What he was saying was also strange. The lies he had set up regarding our past had been naturally broken by him.
“…It’s not like I hate you or anything.”
“Yes, but why would you lie to me?”
When I answered, Philip exhaled as if he was relieved. After some hesitation, he opened his mouth.
“I didn’t want you to come to the reunion.”
“I don’t want you to meet with other men, or with Cyril.”
Why would that be?
I didn’t understand what he was trying to say.
“Because I love you.”
Here comes another lie.
Look at him, lying nonchalantly.
However, because of his expression, which was dead serious, my heart bounced greatly.
“The moment I saw you silently attending the reunion, and then leave together with Cyril—I, blood rushed to my head. It lead to me doing something like the previous…”
“The jealousy made me crazy. I’m honestly begging you. Please, don’t meet him anymore.”
He turned his gaze towards me.
“I will do anything for you. I will treasure you above all. So, I want you to love me once again.”
He said that. His feverish, almost meeting honey-colored eyes left me speechless.
…Even now, he still lied.
‘Again’, he said.
As I thought, Philip was a liar. Therefore, that too, should be a lie.
Still, I had one question.
As bad of a liar as he was, that expression just now, it was as if he was truly appealing for my affection.
“I, I will make an effort.”
His face, as he laughed, looked terribly happy. He thanked me for the words I spoke out of shock.
I was no longer able to comprehend anything that day.
“Eeh, did Philip really say that?”
Rex, who came to our house without prior arrangement, was relaxing in my room. He was laying on the couch reading my favorite book with a ridiculous expression.
Meanwhile, I was made to report on recent events.
“He’s always doing his best. I’m honestly a little impressed.”
“Why would he lie like that?”
He got up from the couch and stared at me.
“—do you truly think he’s lying, even now?”
As I thought, he was going to poke where it hurt.
“…Because Philip keeps lying.”
“He may have lied a lot, but not everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie.”
“Uh, then, are you saying that he’s telling the truth?”
“Who knows? I don’t have a clue.”
Rex laughed and answered in an ambiguous manner.
“Well, it’s not a good idea to just brand everything he said as a lie. Because that way, you’ll fail to see the truth.”
“You have pairs of eyes and ears, right? Then you know what to do.”
Rex approached me, “You’re still a kid.” Then he patted my head.
***T/N: God, Viola is so dense, it’s annoying. Like, there’s cute-dense, and there’s GOD NO PLEASE NO-dense. Or maybe, she’s in denial? Like, all the answers lie right before her very eyes, it’s her who refuses to see them.
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