Translation

Only Sense Online WN 111

“Totally!  What do I even say!?  You wear an armored suit, right, as enemies of the dark cosmos draw closer from all three hundred sixty degrees like swoosh!” 

“The enemies all had very varied designs.  These aliens were much fancier than the usual grey ones with flying saucers.  At the end, the galaxy’s legendary beast battles against the airframe of souls which is the motif for the spirits of the constellations.  This is gonna draw in core fans from a lot of games.”

Miu’s words this morning as we walk to school are much more composed than last night. 

“You’ve been on repeat since yesterday.  Calm down a bit.”

We, despite today being the day of the school festival, are having fun talking about a game.  I give myself an eloquent and motivating speech, but there’s no change to my spirit. 

If anything, it sounded like an event worth attending.   I should be happy she returned home brimming with energy instead of having run into trouble.  Once her excitement peaked and exhaustion took root, she dropped to sleep.

As for the event’s contents, before starting, the two thousand testers who connected to the game through the V.R. sets installed at arcades nationwide were gathered in an event field and given a summary of the game.  Everything from that event field was relayed by television screens at the arcades.

The new V.R. game [Psychic Dragon Arms], creates a universe which fuses mechanical engineering and ESP.   Players equip an armored suit with a dragon motif and designate an ESP(Psycho ) armament(Weapon) as their main weapon.  All members are given equal opportunity and possess the same capacity to complete their armored suit.  The parameters they influence include the strength of their psychic ability, their airframe’s velocity, their airframe’s defensive capabilities, and their ESP armament’s stamina.  Players create their own airframes for combat by taking those stats and the ESP into consideration.

Combat modes include online V.S., offline V.S., online missions, offline missions, random tournaments, and team assault.

Since the field is the void of space and not a level area, players need to be skilled at maintaining three dimensional awareness.  Furthermore, their components and psychic abilities grow stronger through use.  It’s scheduled to be released next year as an arcade exclusive.

Anyone who likes games will want to hurry up and play it.  They’ll probably want to become stronger than everyone else, or something.

As for me, arcade games are dangerously convenient due to being one hundred yen.  I’m terrified I’ll lose all my money before I know it after falling into the one more time, trap.  Then, once that fleeting dream ends, I’ll have nothing to show for it.

I once played a crane game when I was younger, and after using all my pocket money, didn’t return home with anything I wanted.  Not a single thing.  To begin with, crane games and roulettes are configured to keep the player from winning, probably by the computer.  There’s practically no different in either winning something as an arcade prize or flat out buying it.  I’m sure anyone could tell you that.

That’s why, instead of having fun at an arcade, I’ll buy a similar game designed for home use.  Not only is it just as fun, it’s much more economical.

What’s that?  That doesn’t sound very child like…?  Well, traumas turn children into adults.

Ahem, I’m getting off track.  The flow of Miu’s story more or less goes that after players were given a summary of the V.R. game and allowed a test play, they finished by submitting their impressions to the manufacturer.  The manufacturer then randomly selected twenty of its participants through a lottery and gave them a V.R. gear that was provided by O.S.O. 

I’m pretty sure that’s just advertisement for the new production.  It’s a small sacrifice for larger gains.

That more or less sums it up.  As for me, I can’t say I can comprehend how impressive that sort of realism is… or at least couldn’t.  On the way to school, I see an event picture of the gameplay going viral. 

The enemies have grotesque appearances that could be considered R-rated due to being endowed with parts from sea animals.  They give me the impression that they’d make a wet splat like sound upon being killed.  Imagining it majorly decreases my appetite for the day.

“A-ll right, let’s focus on the upcoming school festival instead of games.”

“Ehh!?  Already?  I want to talk more about it on the way home!”

“Absolutely not.  On the way home, we’ll talk about the school festival.  Geez…”

And so, later, after waving my hand at Miu who runs off at the school gate, I meet up with Takumi in the classroom.  Most of the preparations have already been finished.  Half of the classroom has been set up with tables and seats.  The remaining space displays electric kettles along with the food and drinks we’ll be serving today.

Even though general admission will begin at ten, we aren’t too busy at the moment.

“Since we’re all set up, remember to keep track of movement later.  Also, we’ll be getting a lot of outside guest, but even then, don’t be rude!  Mind proper attire and behavior!  This is a school festival, not some street performance!”

Just how many times has Endo-san, our cum class executive committee member, gone around repeating that?  It’s like she’s waiting for someone to get restless.  No, some students already are flustered.

“Excuse me!  Can someone trade with me today!?”  “Haa?  What for?”  “Well, my younger sister is coming and asked me to show her around… so, I’d appreciate if someone would cover my shift.”  “Well, it can’t be helped.  Even though today is the first day, does anyone mind?”  “I’ll do it!”

We were just given a glimpse to a heart warming friendship. That’s right, spending time with your family on your time off is important.

“Well then, everyone on first duty, try on your aprons now.  Afterwards, walk through what you’ll be doing with a partner.”

Since our budget was cut, we are focusing our all into customer hospitality.  Some of us have been preparing magic tricks for a while.  In one trick, normal juice will be poured into an empty cup and then the person will then pretend to fall down.  In truth, the cup is empty.  It’s a magic trick.

The trick will be revealed at the end and everyone will laugh.  We’re going to be running a very intricate café.  

The girls will showcase their vast knowledge of black tea while demonstrating how to prepare a proper serving.  Cake, ordered from outside, is also being provided.  Today will be shortcake and cheesecake.  Tomorrow is chocolate cake and blueberry tart.  I think I’ll come as a customer during my time off.

A preparation staff member hands me an apron as she says, “Here’s Shun-kun’s exclusive apron.”

“Haa?”

While everyone else has plain, simple, checkered pattern aprons, the one I’m given is extremely colorful.  The beige fabric has a theme of birds, chicks, and eggs stitched onto it with red, blue, and yellow thread.  Put short, it’s the kind of apron that could be worn by a nursery school teacher.  Heck, the pocket is even filled with tissues and napkins.

“Hold on, I’m an accountant.  I’m keeping track of money… what’s with the apron?  Seriously, when’d you even make it?”

“I made it in secret behind the scenes!  As for why, you can’t dress up without it!”

Then I can just borrow clothes from one of our other groups.  Besides, if I cross dress, how many of our guests do you think will notice?  Someone here might even go as far as to start a betting pool on this?  Hey, are you ignoring my will?

I look towards Takumi and Endo-san for help.

She says, “I don’t have a clue on where I can leave this apron and we don’t have any spares either.  Since it can’t be helped, I’d be grateful if you could wear this apron I made.  That you hate the idea of wearing woman’s clothing is a problem.”

“Something like cross dressing is a different issue, but I don’t have a problem with wearing an apron…”

Even though others are wearing an assortment of aprons, mine was specifically tailored for me.

I say, “Also… if you thought I’d walk around in it as a form of advertisement, give it up.”

“I- I understand.”

I resign myself and put on the apron.  With nimble fingers, I fasten the cord behind myself and double check that it’s secured.

I say, “There aren’t any problems.  It doesn’t feel any different from any other.”

“…Not bad, not bad, now for a customer service smile.”

I give Takumi a dubious stare at his request.  I then take a deep breath to adjust my mind.

“—Welcome, how many?  I’ll show you to your seat.”

I say everything in a single breath and sprinkle a customer service smile.  Some classmates turn away and cover their faces.  They’ve turned extremely red, they must have caught colds… No, that’s not right.

A girl says, “Wha- what a high destructive power, a wait-staff with a young man’s slender body and a girl’s gentle demeanor.  That face is so powerful that not even bundling together the perfect smile from various bishoujo could top it.  This has nothing to do with something as trivial as a boy’s uniform.  It transcends sex and breeches into realm of a god’s masterpiece!  Thanks for da treat!1

The gourmet reporter narrating the scoop she sniffed2 out is given a light smack to the back of her neck by a female classmate.

No way, no way, such a thing is utterly ridiculous. 

I then rub my face.  Since I was little, I’ve been told to have effeminate features, that my face isn’t one… I should have. 

“Hey, Takumi?  Am I really like that?”

“Your sisters are Shizuka-anee-chan and Miu.  Use your familiarity of being around beautiful girls to give yourself an objective evaluation.”

I’m stumped.  I’m to objectively evaluate my own appearance?

While my eyes give the slight impression to being demure, my hair is like everyone else’s in my family.  Since we all use the same shampoo and conditioner, we all have the same luster. 

Back when I was younger, the smile I greeted everyone with could be called cute.  It was the type of cuteness found on any child.  Now a days, more than greeting people with a smile, my smiles are full of sarcasm. 

As for my body, I’m within the same average height of others my age.  That said, hidden underneath my school blazer is a rather narrow body frame.  It’s thin, but that doesn’t mean I’m feeble. 

Miu is said to have an aroma of sunshine, but that’s not a characteristic I can use for my comparison.  It doesn’t have anything to do gender traits.   

As for my behavior, I’m first and foremost a manly person3.

In conclusion—

“I can’t find a single reason why anyone would judge me as feminine.”

“You….”

I don’t get what it is about my conclusion that confuses Takumi, but from that sigh, he’s sounds super amazed.

“Right, humans make judgements based off their five senses.  Right now, sight and hearing isn’t enough to make a proper assessment while smell and touch will roughly make someone think girl.  That makes it two against two.  In the end, what will be seen is what they desire to see.”

“In other words, ‘Such a cute girl can’t be a boy.  I want to you to be a girl’, will happen.”  

“Precisely, it’s those desires of people that make them say white is black.”

I’m a genuine man.  I should be judged that way, so why are they all claiming I barely have any masculinity? 

The class takes a strange turn after Endo-san’s philosophical analysis.  An assenting hum rises up from all around.

That’s to say, the boys preserve the sanity of their eyes by convincing themselves I’m a girl.  The girls, on the other hand, view me as a boy, but… a portion of them go into wild delusions by paring me with Takumi…

In fact, as Endo-san says, “Judging Shun-kun with the five senses—”

“The five senses are split two against two?  Then the deciding sense is taste!?”

“For real?  Kyaaa!”

I grimace at groundless delusions spreading across my classmates. 

As for me, I’m finding these past few days to have been somewhat difficult.  “Whatever, just do what you want,” would be a careless response.  This is a conflict of attitudes.4

“Haa~”

“Yes, yes, everyone, please stop with this worthless discussion and get back to preparing.  If you’re free, help the executive committee.”

“Looks like Endo-san is the class conscience.”

To my murmur, someone says, “You and two others are the conscience of this class.”  I don’t think I can support this class.

Nonetheless, once my classmates gets moving, they are utterly unified in what we do. 

General admissions begins and a free classmate goes around the school in order to advertise our class’ café.  The main people targeted are outside visitors and middle school students who are watching other programs as they decide on what to do.

“The bill for three is one thousand two hundred yen.  Would you like some cookies as a souvenir?”

“You’re giving me, the teacher privileged with being responsible for lessons, a present?”

“It’s something better known as a public bribe.”

The head social studies teacher makes a joke as he’s making his payment by the exit.  He is a father of two children and has a thirty year old gut due to his slowed metabolism.  I respond to him with a tone reserved for faculty.

“Ahahahaa, I’m no match for you.  Then, would you mind giving us two cookies?”

“Understood, here are your cookies.  Please enjoy the rest of the school festival.”

“You guys have fun too.”

With those words, the teacher pays the cookie fee with a mirthful expression and goes into the hallway.

“We won’t lose!  Not to the other cafés!”  “This is the coffee shop war!”  “It’s time for our ultimate weapon!  Bring out tomorrow’s product!” 

That adds to the excitement of—

“Hey, these flowers are for all of you.”  “I’m glad.  Did you come to see us?”  “Isn’t this cute?  I’ll be free after this and can show you around then, how about it?”

What the, middle school girls and woman from outside are seducing the boys.  This development is pretty exciting too, but I get the feeling it’s somewhat overkill.

Each time a customer comes up to pay their bill, I follow up with a quip that makes everyone smile.  For no real reason, everyone is happy.  It must be because the boys here are at a pretty good level5.

“Still, it’s pretty rowdy.  Although—”

 The school festival has only just begun.


T/N: I’d like to say one thing about 100, Shun is absolutely right.  Each one is roughly worth about $1, but they feel like quarters.  If you’re not careful, you can easily waste a couple dollars a day which quickly adds up.

Actually, Shun is probably very well verse with customer service smiles.  He does run a shop.

Hope you enjoyed the second installment of this mini series,

~Gandire Alea

<Only Sense Online 110
Only Sense Online 112>

  1. It’s a corrupted form of itadakimasu, hence I translated it.
  2. どこのグルメレポーターだと、鼻を押さえながら饒舌に語り、仲間に首筋を軽く叩かれる女子のクラスメイト。
  3. Please note that Shun has always been using the very masculine and somewhat arrogant form of I, “ore”.
  4. と投げやりになるのだが、なってはいけないという二つの気持ちが鬩ぎ合っている。
  5. Level as in attractive.