Sinister Serpent Strikes at Sioux

STANDING ROCK RESERVATION, NORTH DAKOTA- Giant snake consisting entirely of oil wreaks havoc at Standing Rock. Upon appearing, the snake has attack the Dakota Access Pipeline Protesters.  They claim the police and federal officials are doing nothing to help fend off the monster.  An anonymous correspondent from Energy Transfer Partners had this to say, “We have no idea where that snake came from and we do not control it. It is not hindering us and many of staff have grown fond of it.  We have no plans to remove it.  Doing so might even be dangerous.”
According to witnesses, they first heard a hissing sound echoing from the pipeline already laid down by Energy Transfer Partners.  The roar was so loud, it overshadowed the water cannons, gun fire of rubber bullets, and concussion grenades. Everyone stopped: the police ceased their removal of the protesters and the protesters lowered their shields.  In what many describe as a wrenching of iron that sounded like a “baby’s wail,” oil ruptured like a geyser from the pipeline.
The oil being shot skyward built up on itself instead of raining onto the spectators below. The black geyser thickened to the width of a school bus before taking form with slick scales, yellow eyes, and a mouth with a flicking forked tongue. Many Native Americans fell to their knees with prays for protection to their ancestors and the spirits of the land.  The black snake rose to tower above everyone and passed judgment.  From its maw, it hosed the gathered protestors in oil.  Those hit, upon being rushed to the hospital, developed health problems such as leukemia, liver failure, and blindness.
Sioux tribal elders believe this to be the fulfillment of an ancient prophesy fortelling the end of the world.  “A great black snake will rampage across the land to rain destruction upon the people and the mother Earth.”