I Don't Want to Break off my Engagement... Translation

26. Onward Planning

—here were my drawbacks;

His Highness would eventually became the King. If he became king, he might someday take concubines or mistresses, just like His Majesty.

In those lied the disadvantages.

Once I became queen, I must never feel jealous, nor should I feel attached to the King. Because that would lead to me hating the King’s other women.

I should learn my lesson from Princess Catherine, the former Queen. Due to her jealousy, she wasn’t fond of Suzanna being loved. Thus, using insidious means, she crushed Suzanna.

Once His Majesty the King became aware of her actions, their relationship became as cold as the North Pole. Princess Catherine finally succumbed to the mental damage and passed away.

I didn’t like His Highness, but I also preferred not to be neglected like that.

Eh… that sounds contradicting?

Let me rephrase—I didn’t love His Highness, and I would hate being surrounded by his mistresses.

I was a little concerned and soon found out why.

Perhaps the reason was because of my peculiar desire of only loving one person—even though I was a noble.

When I was young, I was a pure maiden in love.

Although I had grown up, there were some traits I couldn’t change no matter what.

I would become Queen, and His Highness would become King.

It would be irritating and impossible for me to look at such a King being surrounded by his concubines—who do you think I am—!? I would probably think such.

I couldn’t just be a yes man of a wife to every one of my husband’s whims… Fumu, I pondered.

Disadvantage number two;

His Highness seemed to have been hurt by those words from my early age.

I had conveyed my apology, but…

I thought it was already impossible to cover up the distance that had already now spread between His Highness and I.

His Highness said he loved me—that it had been so since long ago. Really…? Or is he joking…?

To be honest, I was just trying to measure His Highness’ feelings for me.

Even though it was from my childhood, it was still terrible, those words I had spoken to him. He hadn’t forgotten them over these past ten years, after all.

That was right… I must atone to His Highness! If so …indeed!

I would let His Highness go. I would let him find someone he could love from the bottom of his heart. That way, he could be happy.

Yes, indeed, that was the best solution.

That way, I could also pursue my dream to become an adventurer and didn’t have to become Queen.

When I nodded to myself, I decided to search for a woman who would be eligible for His Highness.

At that moment, His Highness seemed to have laughed. I couldn’t see it because my head was lowered, but he probably did laugh.

…He really was an expressive person, huh.

Yet, because of me, he had devoted most of his time to staying emotionless. I was so sorry for that, I hoped he would let it go, let it be buried in the past…

B, but, Your Highness…

…if at that time, he at least asked the reason for my crying, which was because my weight was being made fun of, then this entire thing wouldn’t have happened—!?

No, His Highness was a boy, and he was eight years old… it wasn’t fair of me to shift the blame on to His Highness…

…as I kept on pondering, His Highness opened his mouth.

“Tia, don’t apologize. Lift your face.”

“But…”

“Judging from Tia’s expression, there seems to be a misunderstanding between us. Won’t you please explain?”

“Huh…? Huh—!?”

I reflexively lifted my face due to the words of His Highness.

My gaze became aligned with his dark blue-green eyes.

His Highness had gentle eyes, as if he was coddling his little sister.

Oh… I remember that gaze…

In the past, that was the gaze he used to give me when I was being bothersome…

The young me loved to clung to His Highness, hugging him, and kissing his forehead.

It was childish skinship, and every time, His Highness would respond with a troubled laugh.

But those habits of ours ended that night, at the end of that party. I didn’t want to see him until my diet was over. Thus, he misunderstood that I had grew to hate him.

I switched my thoughts and focused on His Highness.

…Why didn’t he ask for the reason behind my tears?

Certainly, none of that would’ve happened if he had.

I had to explain this situation to him, who had been misunderstanding for a dozen years.

…but, I just couldn’t admit to him that I cried after being told I was fat…

…To put it further, if His Highness affirmed—“Indeed, you were fat back then.” That would absolutely be the moment I pulled out the annulment paper.

My appearance was that of a proper lady, now. But it was still unbearable for me to bring up the thing of the past, which was my history of being fat.

I opened my mouth reluctantly.

“I… don’t want to explain anything to His Highness.”

His Highness narrowed his eyes.

Oh no, was he angry—!?

Well, indeed, for ten years or so, he had been confused about the reason, and still I wouldn’t say it—!?

That was right—! No matter what, I didn’t want to say it—!

“I understand. I won’t ask you for the reason anymore.”

“Your Highness…”

“Instead, I have something to ask …Hey, Tia, do you love me?”

This time, I stiffened completely.


***T/N:

My appearance was that of a proper lady, now. But it was still unbearable for me to bring up the thing of the past, which was my history of being fat.

I,

My appearance was that of a proper lady, now.

sigh, I…

My appearance was that of a proper lady, now.

…yeah, yeah you do appear like one. (Tia: if you are fat, dont ever dare call yourself a lady, or a woman, even, cause u dont appear like one!!!!)

But are you an actual proper lady? I mean, how about you think in retrospect about your current state right now, Tia?

You don’t know a single thing that goes in your own kingdom, much else the neighboring one. As much as you want to deny it, you’re a damn open book that everyone could manipulate with ease.

When a THOT came barging inside your own territory, and even threatened to steal away your Fiance and taint your reputation–which would in turn, damage your family, do you even try to do a background check on her? To ascertain your enemy? To learn more about said threat? No, instead you act like you’ve saved the world by honestly expressing you “DESPISE HER” then never thought about it again as if the problem is solved. I hope i can solve my problem by saying i hate them too, just like her. Then she would pat herself in the back for always excelling in concealing her real emotionpfft.

Your fiance doesn’t trust you enough (partly due to his own circumstances) to divulge information about the currently underlying threat that was threatening the kingdom you would be ruling in the future. You also don’t display any kind of capability that would make you seems fit to rule beside him. All you ever did was shove the problems aside and enjoy some sweets. Later when your people face famine you let them eat cake yea.

Then, when everything comes to an abrupt reveal, you’re struggling to keep up with everything that’s happening, heck, you don’t even have the slightest clue of what’s happening–

–all the while your head was filled with useless, presumptuous, thoughts that were utterly misguided by your own emotion.

Please, please get more bearing about your surroundings. When you put all of this under consideration, does your weight even matter in the slightest?

And about Williant and his 10 years ongoing misunderstanding he never tried to solve because he needs no communication to ensure a successful relationship even though he ‘admittedly’ loves her, we’ve already ascertained that he was not the brightest tool in the shed through his problem-solving method. So, yeah, as expected of him-!! No, I expected no less from him–!!

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