『Tehehehee! It was a misunderstanding, sorryyyyy!』

How much easier would it have felt if they could have said that to each other?

Naturally, no such thing happened.

In a dimly lit room, a man and a woman were lying on a large bed. With their backs to each other, there was an awkward atmosphere between them.

The two of them completely miss the timing to get out of bed, and the only thing they can bear is the sweet tension brought on by the situation.

「…………」

「…………」

Regardless of the circumstances, the fact remains that a young man and woman are sharing a bedroom in a hotel room. It would be more unusual if nothing happened.

Of course, neither of them were saints with not an ounce of sexual desire, nor have they become monks and renounced the secular world. But neither of them knew how to move forward or retreat, and they found themselves completely stuck in a dead end in their dizzying love romance.

Minato, unable to bear the silence, opened her wet lips soundlessly. Sharing the same bed had long since pushed her flea’s heart past its limit.

「「Hey」」

The voices she spoke with determination lined up perfectly. Hot blood rushed to her head, her brain overheated, and her thinking stopped.

Minato was very glad that she turned her back on him. If they had made eye contact, she would have fainted. Her lips, which had lost its role without a second word, chomped on the air like a goldfish.

「U- Umm…… That……」

Constricted by extreme tension, meaningless words escaped Minato’s mouth. If she didn’t make a sound, it felt like not only her speech but even her breathing would stop.

Minato buried her bright red face in the pillow and finally spoke in a mosquito-like voice.

「Um, well, Rintaro. Please don’t blame Samecchi…… It was my fault that I didn’t say things clearer……」

Her voice was so small that it was almost inaudible, but it certainly reached Rintaro.

Faintly, behind Minato, she heard the sound of sheets rustling. Perhaps he was still crying.

After a few seconds, Rintaro quietly replied.

「……I know, this time it was completely my fault. I’m the one who should apologize.」

Rintaro’s words were free of his usual sly sarcasm and persistent hostility. He chose his words carefully, as if he were handling a delicate piece of glasswork, so as not to further injure Minato.

「It may seem unfair to say this after coming all this way, but I’m sorry. …I must have been a bother, right?」

「It’s not a bother. But I thought for sure… I would be killed here.」

「I wonder why you’re jumping to such a sudden point. I have no intention of harming Minato. …Well, it’s true that I did try, but…」

「That’s…… I was surprised but.」

A thin smile appeared on Minato’s lips. Rather than a smile, perhaps a wry smile would be more accurate.

Just the feeling is enough.

What kind of words, and what exactly does it have to do to get to the point where it’s talking about sleeping together?

Rintaro, with dead eyes and silent tears in his eyes, told Minato the whole story for about two hours. Minato tried her best to smile amiably, but it felt like there are no smile in her eyes.

When he showed her a box of 144 commercial-sized condoms for adults, crying, she was so shocked that she snorted while blushing.

It was that ridiculous.

It was stupid.

It was she who doubted and feared Rintaro.

In the end, there is nothing that can be done about this man named Kuriyama Rintaro.

He had treated Minato with genuine sincerity and determination.

For Minato, this was what made him happier than anything, much more than being led around by the nose.

「Hey, Rintaro. Will you listen to me for a moment, too?」

「Of course, I’m ready to be insulted. Come on! Whether a playboy or an enemy of women, you can call me however you like.」

「Ah, no, that’s not it……」

A smile appeared on her lips.

The relationship between the two is that of “Minato and Rintaro.” There are no mysterious beings or humans there.

There was no longer any hesitation in trusting the man named Rintaro.

Minato learned about the “secret” he had. She was convinced that she would be eliminated after finding out the secret.

She told everything that happened as it was.

Rintaro took in each of Minato’s words, not wanting to miss a single word. He silently accepted it behind his back, determined not to let even a trace of the anguish that had tormented her heart remain.

「Please allow me to apologize as well. I’m really sorry for prying into your secrets.」

These were her own words that she was finally able to speak, without pretense.

Minato did not know how much of a shock that fact would be to Rintaro and how much it would mean to him.

So she waited for Rintaro’s reply. She was no longer afraid to wait.

As the clock’s second hand made a half circle, then a full circle, Rintaro finally spoke.

「……Well then, I guess I’ll have to add today to my “secrets” as well for my own good.」

「Maybe it’s too late now」

「………………Fuh」

「………………Hahah」

After a short silence, a smile broke out from both side.

Looking back, they were making such a fuss over such a trivial thing. As a result, they both ended up lying in a big bed in a luxury hotel doing nothing.

Its beyond funny.

After laughing for a bit, Minato wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes and asked.

「So you won’t kill (do) me？」

「I won’t kill(do) you! Well, in a way I did intend to!」

「Haha, what an idiot. Should I say that’s just like Rintaro, or not like Rintaro.」

「I know it’s not like me, but I can’t help but feel bad when I hear it’s just like me」

Rintaro twisted his body to protest.

「You were being a gentleman in your own way, even though you were an idiot, so this incident can be nulled……！」

「……!?」

Because they both turned back at exactly the same time, their eyes unexpectedly met. The peaceful atmosphere, where they were laughing and joking around, suddenly changed.

「Oh…… 悪い……」

Uttering that one word was the best Rintaro could do.

Right in front of Rintaro’s nose, just a few dozen centimetres away. Those cool eyes, cheeks that were quickly turning red, and wet, defenseless lips were there.

The sweet and gentle scent of shampoo tickled Rintaro’s nostrils. Rintaro must have used the same shampoo, but why did it smell so “girlie” on her?

「Rintaro」

His name was called in a beautiful voice like windchimes bathed in summer sunshine.

His eyes, nose, ears, everything was taken away.

「Wanna make, just one more secret?」

When Rintaro came to his senses, he had his arms around Minato’s head and was holding her to his chest. His evil brain had worked out that this way Minato would never see, his “uncharacteristic face”.

But he soon realized it was a mistake.

Rintaro’s pounding heart was no longer something he could hide.

The heartbeat, which would not subside, was now enveloping Minato. By the hand of none other than Rintaro.

Being able to “feel” his blood pulsating violently was perhaps even more embarrassing for Rintaro than having his face seen.

「…… This time it really, it won’t stop at an attempted crime」

There was no longer any room for misunderstanding.

A small nod of Minato’s head could be felt from Rintaro’s chest and the palm of his hand.

Sight, smell, hearing, and finally touch. Of the only five senses a person has, four of them were now directed toward a single woman.

The last one is–

–naturally, it is called ‘taste’.

Rintaro’s throat made a gulping noise.

……………………

「You can do it! Go! Now is the time to become a man, Kuriyama Rintaro!」

「All for the sake of this moment!　What are you waiting for?」

「We won…we have won! This battle is ours!」

「Fufu, maybe I’ll be a dad by this time next year」

Rintaro, a small military strategist with his whole body wrapped in bandages, and others gathered like zombies in the desolate, cleared-out brain chamber.

Rintaro’s eyes caught a glimpse of Minato with her eyes tightly shut. Soft cherry-red lips were waiting for Rintaro, neither running away nor hiding.

The temporary space inside his head, set up with a folding table and metal chairs, was already filled with a victorious mood. Victory was practically assured, and it was only a matter of time before he got to “savour her to the fullest.”

「Ah no, waaaaaaaiiiiiiiit!!!」

A loud shout rang out, cutting through the tense atmosphere.

The horse’s neighing could be heard, along with the clattering of hooves as it galloped across the earth. The military strategists’ eyes widened in shock as they saw the figure of a man riding a white horse, brandishing his seven-branched sword[i].

「You are the God of War, Uesugi Rintaro!!」

「Indeed, I am the incarnation of Bishamonten. I serve in accordance with righteousness.」

The man known as the God of War slapped the strategist on the head, pointed his finger and shouted.

「We shouldn’t just attack the enemies in front! Look… a little further down! There! Look at those two steep mountain castles!」

Rintaro’s gaze slipped downwards. Then, what a surprise.

Uesugi Rintaro, the god of war, was right: from the collar of her thin bathrobe, he could see, not metaphorically, two large mountains and a deep gorge between them.

Even the military strategists who had been feeling complacent at this bit their lips and slammed their feet on the ground.

「It was a blind spot…! War isn’t just about clashing head-on…!」

「I want to attack…! I want to attack that castle over there as well…!」

「Please wait a moment, Uesugi Rintaro-dono! A surprise attack would be a good idea, but we cannot neglect the enemy in front of us! We do not have enough offensive power!」

No matter how much he wanted to attack the two castles, he had only one tongue. He could not attack three places at once, including the enemy’s mouth, which was eagerly awaiting his arrival.

「Damn…how frustrating in front of a mountain of treasure…! I want to be Kin● Ghidorah……！」

It seemed that all plans had been exhausted – but…. It is the duty of the god of war to show the way to victory to the frustrated warlords.

The war god’s call, reminiscent of the Battle of Kawanakajima, echoed through the wilderness of his mind.

「Hey hey, I am the Dragon of Echigo, Uesugi Rintaro! Those who are far away, let them hear my sound, and those who are close, let them see with their own eyes! This is the secret art of Bishamonten’s warfare, come and see for yourself!」

The war god, Uesugi Rintaro, jumped off his white horse, lowered his hips, and assumed a stance just like in sumo training.

Then he began to draw circles with his head, alternating between his face, right hand, and left hand. His movements were reminiscent of a suffering boiled octopus, or a toy that moves in response to sound.

This posture, with his face drawn in a circle when viewed from the front, was the famous “Eight Phases Wheel Charge Formation”.

「If there are three points of attack, we should attack all three in turn!」

「「「You are absolutely right!」」」

As one would expect from an incarnation of Bishamonten, that was indeed the Eight Phases Wheel Charge Formation. The military strategists imitated the god of war, crouching low, wiggling their hands wildly, licking their tongues and making circles with their heads.

「The lips! The right! The left! Savor it all! Follow me!」

「「「Uooooooooooh!! Lick liiiiiiiick!!」」」

「do the tenten to the Bishabishana monmon!!!」

「「「Hyahoooooooooooh!!!」」」

Uesugi Rintaro sensei let out a battle cry that would have Bishamonten punching him until he was a tattered sack if he heard it. Led by the god of war, the little military strategists in his head charged forward in a line, drawing a circle with their heads.

It was a super express train of sexual desire, a tongue-licking train, that demonstrated Rintaro’s unshakable determination.

「Here I go, Minato… I will really do it…! Lick!」

Rintaro, who had perfectly traced the movements of the military god, approached Minato while drawing circles with his head. In front to him, Minato closed her eyelids and waited for Rintaro’s romantic approach, so she did not notice such an unusual situation at all.

If she saw it, she would scream, recognize him as an enemy, or both.

「Haa… haa…! Lick, lick!」

At that very moment, Rintaro, with his fingertips moving in an eerie manner, was about to attack the “mountain castle”…

Jiriririririririririririririririririririririririririririri!!!!!!!!

A rumbling alarm echoed throughout the hotel.

---

[i] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven-Branched_Sword?oldid=478887132

<189: Strategist Zhuge Rintaro, Fell in Makuhari
191: The Hero Who Returned>