Chapter Thirty-Seven: You Can’t Bleach A Charcoal Heart

The morning light gently illuminates my closed eyelids, and the morning birds’ singing raises me from the deep slumber. As my eyes flicker, I recognize the luxurious room I’ve become used to dwelling in these days. As I begin to turn my head around, I quickly find my view blocked.

“Good morning…”

Apparently, Gil has been hovering over my eyes, protecting me from the sudden intensity of the first rays of the rising sun’s morning light. I appreciate this caring gesture.

Wait, forget that. What happened after I, um, proposed to Gil? Can someone fill me in on the events between then and finding him sitting beside me on my bed?

“Oh, good morning…”

Gil’s hand moves to give a faint caress around my ear and then lightly pokes my nose. Feeling his fingertip’s now-familiar weight on my nose, I feel reassured and open my eyes.

“Whoa!? What happened to your cheek, Gil!?”

I get up in a flash and take a closer look at Gil’s left cheek. It’s red and swollen! Who could have done this to Gil’s beautiful, beautiful face! My finger reaches out to his face but stops fearfully right before touching his cheek.

“Oh, it’s nothing. Anyway, you…”

“It’s not nothing, right!? What happened? Why? It seems like you were hurt… are you okay? Let’s get something cold to put on your…”

Ah, geez, I just close my eyes for a bit, and something like this happens! The sight of it hurts me more than it does you, you big oaf. My feet start to make their way out of bed and onto the floor to get up, but Gil stops me again.

“Never mind that. Listen, I have to tell you something.”

Sitting on the bed, we face each other with our hands held together.

“Um, how much do you remember before you fell asleep?”

My heart flutters as I see Gil’s serious expression. I never knew that just looking face to face at someone you like could make your body feel so hot. My palms, held in Gil’s, almost immediately get sweaty again. Armed with the realizations I gleaned from my princess candidate friends’ wisdom and encouragement, I now recognize these physical changes as reaffirmations of my love for the man in front of me. Oh, Gil, are you cool and dreamy.

Wait! This is no time to be getting the hots! My confession! That’s right! I did manage to confess my love to Gil before falling asleep? Thinking that, I grab onto his hands with renewed conviction.

“Gil, I like you.”

Gil seems to hold his breath.

“I-I know that, already. What I want to ask is, um, did you hear what I said?”

What he had said? After my confession, Gil was saying something like… Hmm… Ah! He apologized for the terrible disturbance and promised it wouldn’t happen again… Was that it?

Hey, wait a minute. I didn’t get a reply to my confession, did I? I was totally exhausted by the time I managed to finish conveying my feelings! What do you expect, though? All that commotion right after pulling a literal all-nighter? I was bumping against my limits already before even starting my confession, and the reason I could even stand at all was that I was running purely on emotion.

I want to hear Gil’s reply. I haven’t fulfilled my promise to the other princess candidates, and I want to produce a report. Also, I’m not the kind of gal who is okay leaving things half-finished. Leaving one-half unconcluded cannot be good for my mental health. Now that my confession’s memory has floated into my mental picture, I’m suddenly like… whoa, I was super intense, and I’m… blushing hot red with embarrassment!

“G-Gil, um, I want your reply.”

Having suddenly gotten nervous, my heart once again goes all thump-thump on me. I’m sorry, my dear heart, I’m always overworking you, aren’t I?

“So… you mean to say you were asleep before I even started.”

Gil’s dejected shoulders fall so hard they almost make a loud clanking sound.

“I like you too… Way before you started liking me, you know?”

Gil says as he ruffles my hair and turns it into a bird’s nest.

“Well then. I wanted to be here right after you woke up, and now that’s settled, I’ll be taking my leave. Make sure to come by after you have breakfast. Take your time.”

He gives my poor head a final pat, and he just leaves.

Uh, wait a moment, was that all of his confession just now? Was that it? Just that? I don’t know if I can say he corresponds to my full love confession assault of yesterday. I feel very uneasy… or should I say, unsatisfied? I feel like he pulled a judo move on me. I am left dumbfounded.

◇◆◇

“It’s Lina. May I come in?”

I receive an immediate reply, so I open the door. This time I am fully prepared, donning my trusty eyeglasses. When I enter the room and raise my head, I am frozen in place.

G-Glenn’s face is terribly bruised! Way more than the bruise on Gil’s cheek.

Glenn glances at me and begins speaking with his usual flat tone.

“Please don’t just stand there and come in.”

E-even if he tells me to come in, his is a ghastly sight. I should refrain from making a dig at his misfortune. It seems he just learned a new definition for “ruling with an iron fist,” right? No, no… stop, don’t think things like that, me. When I turn my eyes to Gil, he averts his. Oh no, don’t tell me. Did you guys really try to vent your feelings with your fists?

“S-sir Glenn, is your face… okay? Let’s call the royal medic and…”

Gil’s cheek is reddish and slightly swollen. Nothing major, to tell the truth. But Glenn’s injuries are on a whole other level. His left eye has trouble staying open because of all the bruising around it. The swollen color is horrible. This is just…

“Please don’t concern yourself with any notions of treatment for my injuries because it has been decided just to let them heal on their own this time.”

I send Gil an inquiring glance. Oooh, don’t tell me. It’s some sort of extended punishment, isn’t it? I don’t like this violence.

Was Glenn in this sorry state already when he came to talk with us yesterday? Speaking of which, Merlia alluded to a “terrible face” as soon as the guys entered the room, so I guess he was indeed already like that at the time.

I am grateful that Gil got angry and vengeful for my sake, but now I’ll be forced to look at this terribly swollen face too, you know? I fearfully advanced one step at a time towards my work desk, but the more I unavoidably see him up close, the more I can’t avoid wincing at his dreadful visage.

While taking nervous side glances, Glenn suddenly steps forth and kneels in front of me, all the while without changing his expression one bit. What is the meaning of this!?

“I pledge allegiance to His Highness Prince Gilbert Trayce Elvasti, the Third Prince of the Kingdom of Elvasti, and his future princess, Lady Lina Randall. Can you forgive me?”

Huh!? What’s that supposed to be about! I turn to Gil.

“I told him that I wouldn’t have him unless you forgave him. Do as you please.”

“B-but… why do I have to!?”

“It’s your choice if you forgive him or not. It’s not a formal declaration or anything. It’s okay if you just go with your emotions on this one, so do whatever you please.”

That’s rather poorly defined, isn’t it? Anyway, how much longer is Glenn going to be facing down like he is right now? Until I say I forgive him? What would happen if I refused? I lower my glasses discreetly with one finger to peek at Glenn’s aura… but I immediately adjust them back on. I know. I know I’m a pushover. I know, but! My mental strength is not enough to be ruthless and refuse in this situation. Glenn is pretending to be calm and in control as usual, but just one glance at that aura, and I can see it’s swirling in disarray and fearful of the future. If Glenn is capable of doubting himself after all…

“I f-forgive you…”

“I am ecstatic and grateful. I will never again do anything that may harm either of you in any way.”

Glenn stands straight up as soon as I finish stammering my way into forgiving him. From the point of view of any other person, his movements would seem cool and collected, but my quick glimpse at his despairing aura tells me that he is putting on a lot of effort to keep up this act of his.

Sir Glenn looks like a changed man, and it’s even creeping me out a bit. Is he alright? Could the impacts on his cheeks have made it to his skull and damaged his brain…?

Watching my increasingly perturbed expression, Gil laughs furtively.

“He was forced into two choices. At the hands of Lady Ordis and friends, you know.”

Forced into two choices? That’s Glenn’s favorite tactic. I wonder what those were, though.

“Either get stripped down, bound, and thrown at the gates of a pervert old man, or swear undying loyalty to you two. So I was told.”

Ah, I remember that! So Merlia was actually serious!? I see. So, he was captured and detained in this room but in a deferred sentence kind of way until the choice was made. For Glenn, both must have been terrible choices. And I bet he was surprised that he got a taste of his own medicine, in this case, his tactic of choice to set up people into doing what he wants.

Now that I think about it, what would have happened if I hadn’t accepted his request for forgiveness…

“Sir Glenn, I am glad… you didn’t end up stripped.”

“I-indeed. Also, you may drop the honorifics when referring to me from now on.”

Well, at this point, I’m too used to calling him Sir. It’s going to be weird to just call him Glenn like we’re close or something. Besides, his tone of voice is still very flat. I guess things have changed because I’m now in a new position where he has sworn undying loyalty to me. Still, is this really okay?

When I turn my suspicious gaze toward Sir Glenn… I mean, Glenn… ugh, I’ll never get used to this, am I? He is… grinning almost imperceptibly. I don’t really have to repeat what kind of scheming no-good person I think he is, do I? Ah, I have nothing but a bad feeling about this. People don’t change that much, after all. I gulp down hard.

“Changing the subject… we should talk about the future of the two of you. Setting your wedding a year from now, we need to meticulously plan your daily schedule until then down to the hour. Lady Randall, in particular, you will need to exercise discipline in your daily routine and endeavor to make this union a success.”

Huh…?

“Although it has not been announced yet, His Majesty the Crown Prince Jerik will succeed the throne after His Majesty the King’s abdication. At the same time, His Highness Lord Gilbert will become the new Crown Prince. Regarding that matter…”

“Wait, wait! Let’s slow down a little!”

W-what’s he suddenly going on about!?

“Wedding, schedule, new Crown Prince!?”

“I find it troubling you raise such a loud voice at such natural developments. Didn’t Lady Randall consent to her marriage with His Majesty? Her Majesty the Queen also ordered Lady Randall to give birth to the Crown Prince’s child. Are there any issues causing you confusion to the point of being this upset?”

Huh!? What the… why is this… who decided all of this!?

I consented… to the marriage. Is that how things turn out right after a love confession? I feel they are being a bit fast and loose with the word “consent” here.

Even so, we are both in love, that is true. Oh, I see. Even though I have been thinking of my status in this castle as “Weird Creature” and “Human Security Alarm,” I am officially a true princess candidate all the same. Fall in love, be chosen, marriage. In a nutshell, that’s how the princess candidate process was supposed to go from the start.

My partner was declared “the crown prince” by Queen Trianna, so if Gil becomes him… Huh? Which crown prince takes precedence? Could it be that Queen Trianna didn’t mean Jerik? Or at least not necessarily? If Gil replaces him as crown prince, am I supposed to bear Gil’s child? She should’ve made it clear from the start!

“Don’t overthink the formalities. You like me, don’t you? I’m the only one you want to be with, right?”

Whoa! What’s with him, too, all of a sudden? He’s making me feel bashful and blush!

Gil has that malicious, boyish smile on his face, but at the same time, he looks delighted. That expression just makes me blush even more. Yes, I did say those things. But is there a need for you to repeat them aloud here? That’s no good, is it? Wait, maybe I was missing a screw or two at the time because of the combination of overwork and sleep deprivation! Otherwise, I wonder if I could ever have uttered such embarrassing lines!

“Do you think you can picture yourself as someone else’s bride at this point? Picture someone else combing your hair, embracing you tight, whispering in your ear. Would it be the same with anyone else? For example, what about Glenn here?”

I cast a sideways glance at Glenn. When our eyes meet, a chill runs down my spine, and I shiver. Nope. No way.

“That’s… quite a rude reaction. But do not worry, for I would have to decline as well.”

Ah, yeah, you sure would have to, all right. Wait, Gil, this is no laughing matter. Don’t make my blood run cold by blurting out your weird examples.

“You understand how it is now, right? So give up on other guys. The moment you fell in love with me, your future became a done deal.”

It’s true that now I find myself dismayed if I picture things like me watching from a distant corner while Gil embraces another lady as her woman. Still, I’m also just starting to feel that woman’s gravity, the one standing by Gil, being the one who could be destined to be queen eventually… and now I am about to be that woman. I really can’t imagine myself as this kingdom’s top lady.

“You can just smile by my side. Everything will work out, don’t worry.”

I roll my eyes at Gil’s happy-go-lucky remarks. Not to say I wouldn’t love for it to be that simple. But if you become the queen, that won’t do. And if you notice, right now, Gil is the one laughing and taking it easy at my side, not the other way around! Argh, if anything, he’s just adding to my current fuzzy mood of impending doom, embarrassment, and just plain bad mood. Well, he’s always like this with me, isn’t he? Treating me lightly and, I feel, dismissively. Does he… really like me?

I look up to Gil with my lips drawing into a dissatisfied pout, but Gil just looks happy and oblivious.

“So, are we in agreement on the main points for this year?”

“N-not at all!”

I wonder where and how he took it as if I’m going along with all of this. Glenn sighs openly at my negative and very loud reply.

“Isn’t it OK to just be a little more accepting of the flow of things? If you can’t picture yourself with anyone else as your partner, what’s wrong with just being with His Highness and letting things like the wedding take their course?”

Glenn is talking with the same cadence as always, but something feels different now … Oh, that’s right, he is facing me while talking. I kind of remember he always looked at me sideways with his body facing slightly another way. Maybe this is included in that whole “undying loyalty” package.

“I… do l-love you, Gil, but how could I ever be the Queen? It would be too much for a regular girl like me!”

I realize I am clenching my fists and planting my feet. If I let myself “go with the flow” and end up falling upward into the Queen’s throne, unable to do the job, it’s not going to be just my problem anymore.

“What do you think are the things a lady needs to perform as a Queen?”

“To… give birth to a royal successor, participate in politics and economics, and master socialization and diplomacy with the highest elites.”

Giving birth to a successor would be expected for any bride, and to an extent, every wife ends up having to know the latter as well to run a house effectively. But if you’re talking about being a queen, we’d be talking about several orders of magnitude beyond.

“We can set aside the issue of succession because that’s a matter where His Highness is also involved. Regarding politics and economics, I believe you can learn them if you start studying them right now with utmost discipline. As for social matters and diplomacy, you are already more than prepared, wouldn’t you think? After all, you somehow managed to have all the other high-ranking noble ladies in the princess candidates group eating from the palm of your hand.”

Glenn says that with a strange tone. Like it pained him to think about them.

Well, leaving that aside, does he really mean it when he says I could also learn to do all those things if I study like crazy? Really? Even klutzy me?

“E-even if you say that… I don’t think I could become a good queen like Lady Trianna, after all.”

“You are good enough just as you are.”

Cut it out, Gil! You sound like a motivational brochure or something! I cast a look of distrust at Gil, but he just keeps looking at me sweetly.

“Maybe what His Highness means is that the kingdom may not necessarily want the same queen again. Your strong suit is to look completely harmless and confused while raising everyone’s spirits by giving them a good laugh.”

Hey, what was that!? That’s not a compliment at all!

Glenn applies his index and middle fingers to the middle of his knitted brow as if nursing a headache while talking to me, but I am the one who wants to make that gesture.

“Though I may paraphrase what His Highness noted earlier, the moment a lady as harebrained as you are fell in love with His Highness, the possibility of marriage with another man foreclosed in your heart, or? Picture yourself on the day of the wedding with you being the bride or not being the bride and put both in the balance.”

Far from being complimented, he’s brazenly ridiculing me! I want to make his cool and collected demeanor crumble with a well-placed comeback. But I can’t deny the truth of what he’s saying, so I just feel annoyed to no end. At any rate, I don’t need to put those situations in a balance; I already know what I want. I just don’t have the fortitude to go through with it!

“Oh, for goodness sake… Well, even if many ladies are more suited to ascend to a royal princess rank than you are, no one is more desired than you. Why are you still worried?”

“I like you more than anything in the world, Lina.”

“Gil…”

Gil, who comes by my side before I know it, grabs my hand. When I look into his eyes, and he looks back at mine, I’m unable to utter a word. Gil’s expression with his slightly narrowed eyes and his thumb stroking the back of my hand, concealing my small hand in his almost as if making it so Glenn can’t see it… I start feeling incredibly hot inside my chest again. Oh, no! I’m too crazy about him!

“Well then, it’s settled.”

“Huh?”

Glenn heads to the door immediately after saying that quietly.

“Now, let’s visit Their Majesties to announce the good news. Shall we?”

“I-I’m not quite… oh!?”

Before I can state my refusal, Gil’s soft lips land on my cheek. Ugh, Glenn is in front of us looking, though!? I respond to Gil’s gesture by gently placing my hand on his cheek and looking up at him. He flashes me a wink before once again fully embracing me in his arms and drawing my face close to his. He then whispers in my ear.

“You are the girl I like. Let’s do our best for our future together.”

The faintest touch of his lips and the feeling of his breath on my ear are enough to make me feel like fainting. His romantic arsenal is more destructive than ever.

No, I can’t take it anymore. Between my out-of-control beating heart and my breath which can’t catch up to the excitement, I can’t afford to do anything else!

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